Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Consider a statistic or trend that shocks you. Why is it important to you and how could it be changed for better?

Consider a statistic or trend that shocks you. Why is it important to you and how could it be changed for better? mXdRq
According to a survey done by the National Centre for Learning Disabilities, a third of the population attribute inaccurate causes to learning disorders. 22% think learning disabilities can be caused by too much time spent watching television, and 55% wrongly believe that corrective eyewear can treat certain learning disabilities. The most shocking are the 20% believing that people who suffer from learning disorders are less intelligent. When I was eight years old I was diagnosed with a severe case of Dyslexia, and I was told I may never be able to properly write and read. Although I was able to fully understand the lessons at school, I had trouble getting the words down in written assignments. Some of my teachers and classmates would think I was lazy or simply stupid. I sought refuge by spending my afternoons volunteering at a dog kennel with the animals that were my greatest source of joy. At the age of 15 I decided to take an advanced dog-training course, which required a complex entry exam. This was a turning point for me: For the first time in my life, I set myself a goal: to achieve something I was passionate about. In order to do that I had no choice but to read and write. The kennel manager became my mentor. He believed in me and pushed me to challenge my way of thinking. Creating mechanisms that helped me cope with the challenge, I broke down every topic into small and simple parts, making it easier to comprehend. I realized that I could visualize and identify patterns, which helped me digest vast amounts of information. Informed I was one of the top achievers in the exam, I was offered a seat in the course. For the first time I experienced the incredible feeling of success, and a flood of achievements followed. I successfully graduated from high school, completed my military service, pursued an academic degree and kicked off my career in consulting, where I felt I could continue to challenge my own abilities on a daily basis. After achieving 710 in the GMAT exam, I look forward to being successful at Oxford, and in my future career as well. Although some advancements have been made in changing the public perception of people with learning disorders, many talented, intelligent and creative children get overlooked by the traditional education system. This eventually causes the same people to get passed over later in life. I would like to change this negative perception, which I personally managed to overcome. As education is one of the most effective ways to break the cycle of discrimination that children with learning disorders often face, I think that increasing educators awareness and elimination of some traditional teaching methods will provide them with an opportunity to achieve their potential and shine. I plan to increase awareness for the importance of appropriate curriculums in schools and I will encourage companies to recruit talent based on the advantages that are attributed to certain learning disorders.
According to a survey done by the National
Centre
for
Learning
Disabilities, a third of the population attribute inaccurate causes to
learning
disorders. 22%
think
learning
disabilities can
be caused
by too much time spent watching television, and 55%
wrongly
believe that corrective eyewear can treat certain
learning
disabilities. The most shocking are the 20% believing that
people
who suffer from
learning
disorders are less intelligent.

When I was eight years
old
I
was diagnosed
with a severe case of Dyslexia, and I was
told
I may never be able to
properly
write and read.

Although I was able to
fully
understand the lessons at school, I had trouble getting the words down in written assignments.
Some
of my teachers and classmates would
think
I was lazy or
simply
stupid. I sought refuge by spending my afternoons volunteering at a dog kennel with the animals that were my greatest source of joy.

At the age of 15 I decided to take an advanced dog-training course, which required a complex entry exam. This was a turning point for me: For the
first
time in my life, I set myself a goal: to achieve something I was passionate about. In order to do that I had no choice
but
to read and write.

The kennel manager became my mentor. He believed in me and pushed me to challenge my way of thinking. Creating mechanisms that
helped
me cope with the challenge, I broke down every topic into
small
and simple parts, making it easier to comprehend. I realized that I could visualize and identify patterns, which
helped
me digest vast amounts of information.

Informed I was one of the top achievers in the exam, I
was offered
a seat in the course. For the
first
time I experienced the incredible feeling of success, and a flood of achievements followed. I
successfully
graduated from high school, completed my military service, pursued an academic degree and kicked off my career in consulting, where I felt I could continue to challenge my
own
abilities on a daily basis. After achieving 710 in the GMAT exam, I look forward to being successful at Oxford, and in my future career
as well
.

Although
some
advancements have
been made
in changing the public perception of
people
with
learning
disorders,
many
talented, intelligent and creative children
get
overlooked by the traditional education system. This
eventually
causes the same
people
to
get
passed
over later in life. I would like to
change
this
negative
perception, which I
personally
managed to overcome. As education is one of the most effective ways to break the cycle of discrimination that children with
learning
disorders
often
face, I
think
that increasing educators awareness and elimination of
some
traditional teaching methods will provide them with an opportunity to achieve their potential and shine. I plan to increase awareness for the importance of appropriate curriculums in schools and I will encourage
companies
to recruit talent based on the advantages that
are attributed
to certain
learning
disorders.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Consider a statistic or trend that shocks you. Why is it important to you and how could it be changed for better?

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
500 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6band
    country music in daily life
    Music is the words of feelings and heart. Through music, people can express emotions from deep within themselves: it can be joy, sadness, anger, pain, love, hate, etc. . . Not only that music can be a drug for your soul because of its healing possibility and can level up your mood. And today, I woul...
  • 6band
    living in a new country might cause social and practical difficulties
    It is argued that choosing a new place to live requires the ability of speaking in a foreign language which that might cause various issues such as practical or social problems. In my eyes, although settling in a new country while having to learn its language may sound a bit frightening, its not a m...
  • 6band
    advantages and disadvantages of sport
    Since the 18th century, sport or physical education was added to the curriculum, sooner it became the most favorite subject for student where they can have some relaxation, However, as we know, every coin has two sides, If students spend a lot of time playing sports, it could be harmful to them in n...
  • 6band
    One common school of thought in previous decades was that workers should follow a specific dress code.
    One common school of thought in previous decades was that workers should follow a specific dress code. However, in the present era, other features are considered above all. Both views seem to have certain pros and cons, which companies should concern about. On the one hand, what brings positive men...
  • 5.5band
    Many peoples are now moving from urban areas to more rural areas. why might this be tha case? What might be a desadvantage of this move.
    Many individuals are now migrating from city areas to more village areas. Every coin has two side one is positive and second one is negative. So In my perception this statement is also based on same ideology. And it's also depends on likes and dislikes of an individual. First and foremost reason, is...
  • 5band
    the picture shows the possible wave-energy machine for generating electricity.
    The pictorial below sketches out a technological equipment which manufactures electricity by the movements of waves and also its operation. As is presented in the illustration, the machine, in parallelepiped-shape, calls over two chambers, the top one and the bottom cell. In terms of the first part...