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advantages and disadvantages of sport

advantages and disadvantages of sport obMa9
Since the 18th century, sport or physical education was added to the curriculum, sooner it became the most favorite subject for student where they can have some relaxation, However, as we know, every coin has two sides, If students spend a lot of time playing sports, it could be harmful to them in number of ways, including a poor influence on their grades and negative effects on their developing brains. To begin with, students that participate in athletics can be more disciplined in their other interests. They can also be respectful to others, and they learn how to create objectives and work toward achieving them. Furthermore, students engaged in several group activities, which may provide them with valuable expertise in dealing with various types of people. Besides, they become more interactive, cooperative, and extrovertive. On the contrary, if they spend too much time on sports, they will have a limited amount of time to spend with their families. Their interaction with their parents and siblings will come to an end. As a result, they become estranged from their family members. Second, they will begin to imitate their friends with whom they spend a significant amount of time during activities such as sports. Many students begin smoking and drinking at a young age as a result of group pressure. This could be the negative side of putting in a lot of time behind the doors of sports. To sum up, I strongly believe that school or parents should have fixed time limits to negotiate disadvantages. Sports, on the other hand, have a lot of good effects on people's lives. . Therefore, balancing a schedule will be helpful to flourish children as an adult.
Since the 18th century,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
or physical education was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to the curriculum, sooner it became the most favorite subject for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
where they can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
relaxation,
However
, as we know, every coin has two sides, If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, it could be harmful to them in number of ways, including a poor influence on their grades and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on their developing brains.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
that participate in athletics can be more disciplined in their other interests. They can
also
be respectful to others, and they learn how to create objectives and work toward achieving them.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
engaged in several group activities, which may provide them with valuable expertise in dealing with various types of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Besides
, they become more interactive, cooperative, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
extrovertive
.

On the contrary
, if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, they will have a limited amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
with their families. Their interaction with their parents and siblings will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.
As a result
, they become estranged from their family members. Second, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to imitate their friends with whom they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
a significant amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
during activities such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
smoking and drinking at a young age
as a result
of group pressure. This could be the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side of putting in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
behind the doors of sports.

To sum up, I
strongly
believe that school or parents should have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
limits to negotiate disadvantages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
,
on the other hand
, have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
effects on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Therefore
, balancing a schedule will be helpful to flourish children as an adult.
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IELTS essay advantages and disadvantages of sport

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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