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Loss of old-fashioned values

Loss of old-fashioned values Bxjd
It is widely believed that a person's worth nowadays is judged according to social status and material possessions and old-fashioned values such as honour, kindness and trust are no longer considered to be important. The question that needs to be answered is whether such a generalisation can be made or not. In the early 20th century, the world population was wealthier in comparison to how it is in the 21st century. Therefore, in the past, more importance was given to relations built on mutual trust and honour. However, as world poverty and general disparity between the rich and the poor grew, there has been an obvious shift in the world view. Relationships, be in personal or professional, are built on monetary consideration rather than values. While there has been a definite increase in the importance given to wealth and status, it would be wrong to assume that this would automatically mean that there has been a degradation in old-fashioned values. In my opinion, it would not be right to lament the loss of old-fashioned values as there still exist people who appreciate and show values such as honour, loyalty and trust.
It is
widely
believed that a person's worth nowadays
is judged
according to social status and material possessions and
old
-fashioned values such as
honour
, kindness and trust are no longer considered to be
important
.

The question that needs to
be answered
is whether such a
generalisation
can
be made
or not.

In the early 20th century, the world population was wealthier
in comparison
to how it is in the 21st century.
Therefore
, in the past, more importance was
given
to relations built on mutual trust and
honour
.
However
, as world poverty and general disparity between the rich and the poor grew, there has been an obvious shift in the world view. Relationships, be in personal or professional,
are built
on monetary consideration
rather
than values.

While there has been a
definite
increase in the importance
given
to wealth and status, it would be
wrong
to assume that this would
automatically
mean that there has been a degradation in
old
-fashioned values.

In my opinion, it would not be right to lament the loss of
old
-fashioned values as there
still
exist
people
who appreciate and
show
values such as
honour
, loyalty and trust.
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IELTS essay Loss of old-fashioned values

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
191 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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