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Computers are now the basis of the modern world. They should therefore be introduced into classrooms, and their programs used for direct teaching purposes. However, dependence on computers in teaching may carry a certain degree of risk to students.

Computers are now the basis of the modern world. They should therefore be introduced into classrooms, and their programs used for direct teaching purposes. However, dependence on computers in teaching may carry a certain degree of risk to students. 9L5b7
According to few people, they believe people now have more options compared to the previous people and I agree with the statement, which will I explain in the forthcoming paragraphs. To begin with, people living in the modern era have more options than the people living in the previous time. Firstly, due to advancement in the technology their has been a huge diversification in the job sector, because new technology requires more qualified people to operate it, due to which their is huge demand in job sector and new technology not only provides opportunity in job sector but also open paths for many students to persue different carrer options, because in old times their were limited jobs because of which student used to choose only those courses which could provide them job, rather than choosing the subject they are interested in. Furthermore, people's not only mentality has been changed but also their standard of living has been altered drastically, because people in the older times used to believe that a women is not allowed to go in a workplace, which is changed now because of the new mentality and improved standard of living. For instance, various sectors such as finance and ecommerce have a women C. E. O, who have improved companies performance and profitability in the past years. On the other hand, their are few people's who does not have may options and have to focus on limited ooptions. Firstly, people with lot of responsibilty and financial burden does not have more choices, because he/she have to fulfill the need of their family because of which he/she cannot go through different options. To conclude, people now have various options available because of the improvement in the technology and change in the human mentality, apart from that improved standard of living have also contributed to provide different options.
According
Did you mean "too"?
to
few
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people
, they believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
compared to the previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement, which will I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in the forthcoming paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the modern era have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the previous time.
Firstly
, due to advancement in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
their has been a huge diversification in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
requires more qualified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to operate it, due to which
Did you mean "there"?
their
is huge demand in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
and new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provides opportunity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
open paths for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students to
Possible spelling mistake found.
persue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake found.
carrer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
times their
were limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to choose
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
those courses which could provide them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
rather
than choosing the subject they
are interested
in.

Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
mentality has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
their standard of
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living
has
been altered
drastically
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
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people
in the older times
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to believe that
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a woman" or simply "women"?
a women
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to go in a workplace, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the new mentality and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
standard of
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living
.
For instance
, various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
such as finance and
Possible spelling mistake found.
ecommerce
have
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a woman" or simply "women"?
a women
C. E. O, who have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
performance and profitability in the past years.

On the other hand
,
Did you mean "there"?
their
are few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's who does not have may
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options
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
focus on limited
Possible spelling mistake found.
ooptions
.
Firstly
,
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people
with
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsibilty
and financial burden does not have more choices,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he/she
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
fulfill the need of their family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which he/she cannot go through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
options.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
available
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the improvement in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the human mentality, apart from that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
have
also
contributed to provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
.
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IELTS essay Computers are now the basis of the modern world. They should therefore be introduced into classrooms, and their programs used for direct teaching purposes. However, dependence on computers in teaching may carry a certain degree of risk to students.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
308 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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