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Computers are gaining importance in modern education. Some people believe that certain subjects such as Science and Mathematics are better taught using computers. What is your opinion?

Computers are gaining importance in modern education. Some people believe that certain subjects such as Science and Mathematics are better taught using computers. What is your opinion? VQq7w
In this day and age, an increasing number of people are concerned about the fact that the development of computers plays a crucial role in modern education, whereas the other people consider the detrimental impacts it might bring. From my perspective, I believe that computers bring several advantages to children’s studies and brain stimulation. First it goes without saying that for most students, computers can be seen as reference materials. In other words, due to the advancements in communication technology, students can easily do multiple research on the computers. In spite of using reference books, the computer is more conventional and flexible, therefore, students are able to save a large amount of time. As an illustration, international schools offer their students to have own computers in order to find academic information. Moreover, with the assistance of modern techniques, students can easily imagine abstract knowledge such as Science and Mathematics. Indeed, people are able to find colorful images which demonstrate to their relevant subjects, therefore, they able to stimulate their creativity and imagination. For instance, according to the researchers, many students prefer studying on laptops to sticking to books. This is mainly because computers offer students wide knowledge with relevant illustrations and a closer look. This is not to say that the original teaching methods should be neglected. Of course, some students dramatically overuse computers for their personal purposes. In other words, a number of students abuse the internet for bad manners such as violent games, social media. Since they spend most of their time on irrelevant things, their studies can be seriously affected. Furthermore, sticking to the technical equipment for long time can basically cause eyesore, headache, dizziness. Indeed, the light from the electric device’s screen is detrimental to both mental and physical health. For instance, according to the BBC news, some experts warn people not to use smart phones and technical devices more than 5 hours a day. In conclusion, I admit that computer plays a vital role in education and teaching methods. Meanwhile, we should balance the time using it in order to prevent unfavorable risk. Only by doing so, can computers promote their usage for education.
In this day and age, an increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are concerned
about the fact that the development of computers plays a crucial role in modern education, whereas the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider the detrimental impacts it might bring. From my perspective, I believe that computers bring several advantages to children’s studies and brain stimulation.

First
it goes without saying that for most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, computers can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as reference materials.
In other words
, due to the advancements in communication technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
easily
do multiple research on the computers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
using reference books, the computer is more conventional and flexible,
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are able to save a large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. As an illustration, international schools offer their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
computers in order to find academic information.
Moreover
, with the assistance of modern techniques,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
easily
imagine abstract knowledge such as Science and Mathematics.
Indeed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to find colorful images which demonstrate to their relevant subjects,
therefore
,
Did you mean "they are" or "they were"?
they
able to stimulate their creativity and imagination.
For instance
, according to the researchers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
prefer studying on laptops to sticking to books. This is
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
computers offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
wide knowledge with relevant illustrations and a closer look.

This is not to say that the original teaching methods should
be neglected
.
Of course
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
dramatically
overuse computers for their personal purposes.
In other words
, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
abuse the internet for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
manners such as violent games, social media. Since they spend most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on irrelevant things, their studies can be
seriously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
.
Furthermore
, sticking to the technical equipment for long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
can
basically
cause eyesore, headache, dizziness.
Indeed
, the light from the electric device’s screen is detrimental to both mental and physical health.
For instance
, according to the BBC news,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
experts warn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
smart phones and technical devices more than 5 hours a day.

In conclusion
, I admit that computer plays a vital role in education and teaching methods. Meanwhile, we should balance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
using it in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
unfavorable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
by doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, can computers promote their usage for education.
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IELTS essay Computers are gaining importance in modern education. Some people believe that certain subjects such as Science and Mathematics are better taught using computers. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
359 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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