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Computer is now playing an important role in children’s lives. While many people believe that it is a positive development for children, others convince that it is a negative trend. Discuss both views and give your own opinion based on your knowledge and experience.

Computer is now playing an important role in children’s lives. While many people believe that it is a positive development for children, others convince that it is a negative trend. KVnA0
Nowadays, computer plays a crucial role in people’s lives. Some people believe that it can encourage positive development in people while others convert convert that it is a pessimistic tendency. I convince that both views are understandable. Therefore, I will discuss both sides of this argument in my essay below and give my personal view in the conclusion. On the one hand, computer has some advantages. Firstly, advances computer technology have changed the way people work. For instance, people use computer programmes to look up their quality of work instead working manual as the previous. Moreover, this is extremely vital for both working people and students who have to deal with increasing workload nowadays. Secondly, computer has some educational purposes. Using laptop as a tool of learning can help people enlarge their knowledge. In the terms of learning English, it can offers many enormous such as dictionary, brush up listening skill or pick up new words easily. On the other hand, using computer frequently causes serval problems. To begin with, if people take away too much time for using computer, they will addictive or make it extremely difficult to get out and work out. Consequently, these people may be suffer from a lot of disease, such as pain or outweight, due to this lack of physical exercise. The second drawback is that it can distract users, especially young generation, from their study or work if they use inefficiently. In conclusion, using computer is both advantageous and disadvantageous in many aspects. From my point of view, I totally agree that computer is a negative way to improve our life. We have to achieve a balance between abuse and using effectively.
Nowadays, computer plays a crucial role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it can encourage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
while others
Possible typo: you repeated a word
convert convert
that it is a pessimistic tendency. I convince that both views are understandable.
Therefore
, I will discuss both sides of this argument in my essay below and give my personal view in the conclusion.

On the one hand, computer has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages.
Firstly
, advances computer technology have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computer
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
to look up their quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
instead
working manual as the previous.
Moreover
, this is
extremely
vital for both working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and students who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with increasing workload nowadays.
Secondly
, computer has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
educational purposes. Using laptop as a tool of learning can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enlarge their knowledge. In the terms of learning English, it can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "offer"
offers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
enormous such as dictionary, brush up listening
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
or pick up new words
easily
.

On the other hand
, using computer
frequently
causes
Possible spelling mistake found.
serval
problems. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take away too much time for using computer, they
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
will addictive
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it
extremely
difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
out.
Consequently
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may be
Consider using the past participle "suffered"?
suffer
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
disease, such as pain or
Possible spelling mistake found.
outweight
, due to this lack of physical exercise. The second drawback is that it can distract users,
especially
young generation, from their study or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
inefficiently
.

In conclusion
, using computer is both advantageous and disadvantageous in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects. From my point of view, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that computer is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our life. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
achieve a balance between abuse and using
effectively
.
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IELTS essay Computer is now playing an important role in children’s lives. While many people believe that it is a positive development for children, others convince that it is a negative trend.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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