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computer games benefits believed by parents

computer games benefits believed by parents kWgKN
it is irrefutable true that popularity of the computer games is on increase across the global and also among youth. Parents often believe that the games do not serve any educational purpose and leads to numerous detrimental effects. i disagree with claim made by parents as computers games imparts so many lifelong skills as well as makes the person acquainted with technology. First and foremost benefit of computer games is that the games familiarize the children with technology. When they play games then they use the various feature of keyboard such as using the ctrl and down arrow to change the direction of attacker. Even some children are started to curious to know about the technology behind them such as programmer language used to design them and adopt sometime games developing profession as their career. For example son of my uncle become passionate to learn java when he played the bule whales games continuously for two years and now he is game developer in java which is one of the money minting profession The second vivid reason is that games play a crucial role to make the children risk friendly which is utmost necessary to be successful in life. the games consists of various level and to win each games the players have to cross all of them. Sometimes they fail and have to start it again. As per the latest survey the children who do not play computer games in their childhood days are less likely to succeed in life as compared to ones who plays them. Moreover. The decision making, independence and leadership skills are also among the skills which are taught by computer games In conclusion, although computer game have adverse affect on the life of children but the skills, developed by games have edge over negative impacts as they prepare the children for adulthood.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is irrefutable true that popularity of the computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is on increase across the global and
also
among youth. Parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
do not serve any educational purpose and leads to numerous detrimental effects.
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
disagree with claim made by parents as computers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
imparts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
lifelong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the person acquainted with technology.

First
and foremost benefit of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
familiarize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with technology. When they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
then they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the various feature of keyboard such as using the
Possible spelling mistake found.
ctrl
and down arrow to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the direction of attacker. Even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
Did you mean "too curious to"?
to curious to
know about the technology behind them such as programmer language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to design them and adopt sometime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
developing profession as their career.
For example
son of my uncle become passionate to learn java when he played the
Possible spelling mistake found.
bule
whales
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
continuously
for two years and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
he is game developer in java which is one of the money minting
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
profession


The second vivid reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
a crucial role to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
friendly which is utmost necessary to be successful in life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
You should probably use "consist".
consists
of various level and to win each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
the players
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
cross all of them.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
they fail and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
it again. As per the latest survey the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
in their childhood days are less likely to succeed in life as compared to ones who
Did you mean "play"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'ones' should be used.
plays
them.
Moreover
. The
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
, independence and leadership
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are
also
among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
which
are taught
by computer games

In conclusion
, although computer game have adverse
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on the life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, developed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have edge over
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts as they prepare the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for adulthood.
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IELTS essay computer games benefits believed by parents

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
308 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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