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Computer games are very popular for all ages and nationalities. Parents think this has little educational value and it will be harmful for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Technological advancements have made people’s lives less boring because of digital games. In fact, I believe that e-games contribute to children’s creativity whereas they also harm children in two ways. Thanks to globalisation, almost all people nowadays have access to computers and are familiar with computer games, which normally require one to think out of box. To put it into other way, electronic games can be played till the final stage with a help of logical thinking. For example, puzzles and GTA versions trigger children’s thinking abilities to level up since they are programmed in way that demands structural thinking and comprehension. Thus, this might be the case for innovative and problem solving generation capable of using the parts of brain necessary for creativity, cerebral brain. However, this may not fully cover the topic as it can be harmful to children for two reasons. First off, no one can deny that screens beaming light cause a decline of eyesight, vision. Playing so-called games on screen has a negative impact of children’s health. If children cannot see appropriately, they tend to wear eyeglasses making them to be bullied at school. Therefore, children’s health is lost due to rays of computer screen and physical or mental damage from their peers. Lastly, There are games promoting addiction to different things. Take smoking and alcoholic as an example. These habits are exposed to children because they are likely to imitate role models of games. Meanwhile, most games do not have standards except the age limit. In conclusion, while computer games ignite sparks of imagination or creativity, they are mainly the main reasons for worst scenarios – health issues and bad habits. If game developing companies find a better way of not influencing children in a negative way, electronic entertainment software will be of more utterance than ever.
Technological advancements have made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
less boring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. In fact, I believe that e-games contribute to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
creativity whereas they
also
harm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in two ways.

Thanks to
Possible spelling mistake. ‘globalisation’ is British English.
globalisation
, almost all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
nowadays have access to computers and are familiar with computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, which
normally
require one to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
out of box. To put it into other way, electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can
be played
till the final stage with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of logical thinking.
For example
, puzzles and GTA versions trigger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
thinking abilities to level up since they
are programmed
in way that demands structural thinking and comprehension.
Thus
, this might be the case for innovative and
This noun or verb “problem-solving” is spelled with a hyphen.
problem solving
generation capable of using the parts of brain necessary for creativity, cerebral brain.

However
, this may not
fully
cover the topic as it can be harmful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for two reasons.
First
off, no one can deny that screens beaming light cause a decline of eyesight, vision. Playing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
-called
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on screen has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
health. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
appropriately
, they tend to wear eyeglasses making them to
be bullied
at school.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
health
is lost
due to rays of computer screen and physical or mental damage from their peers.
Lastly
, There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
promoting addiction to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things. Take smoking and alcoholic as an example. These habits
are exposed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are likely to imitate role models of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. Meanwhile, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
do not have standards except the age limit.

In conclusion
, while computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
ignite sparks of imagination or creativity, they are
mainly
the main reasons for worst scenarios
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
health issues and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits. If game developing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
find a better way of not influencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
way, electronic entertainment software will be of more utterance than ever.
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IELTS essay Computer games are very popular for all ages and nationalities. Parents think this has little educational value and it will be harmful for children.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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