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Writing task 2: With the advent of the internet, increasing numbers of people are shopping online. What issues arise from this and how can they be tackled?

Currently, owing to the development of the internet, online shopping is preferred by numerous individuals. One of the main problem that might causes less physical activity and the most viable solution to this is to educate population about the harmful impacts of this phenomenon. The first and foremost concern caused by increasing demand for online shopping is that may bring about sedentary lifestyle. In other words, nowadays, people do not go to shop to check and buy the merchandises for their needs instead they are staying at home and get all possessions as door delivered. As a result, this frequently leads to physical and mental health problems. For instance, a recent government survey found that 80% of the people have health issues like obesity, disbetes, because of less physical activity and getting everything via onlins. Secondly, due to the fact, these days, there are many unreliable e-shops, consequently, sometimes customers are not able recieve their order, however they had already been pay the money for it.
Currently
, owing to the development of the internet, online shopping
is preferred
by numerous individuals. One of the main problem that might
causes
less physical activity and the most viable solution to this is to educate population about the harmful impacts of this phenomenon.

The
first
and foremost concern caused by increasing demand for online shopping is that may bring about sedentary lifestyle.
In other words
, nowadays,
people
do not go to shop to
check
and
buy
the merchandises for their needs
instead
they are staying at home and
get
all possessions as door delivered.
As a result
, this
frequently
leads to physical and mental health problems.
For instance
, a recent
government
survey found that 80% of the
people
have health issues like obesity,
disbetes
,
because
of less physical activity and getting everything via
onlins
.
Secondly
, due to the fact, these days, there are
many
unreliable e-shops,
consequently
,
sometimes
customers are not able
recieve
their order,
however
they had already been pay the money for it.
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IELTS essay Writing task 2: With the advent of the internet, increasing numbers of people are shopping online. What issues arise from this and how can they be tackled?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
166 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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