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Computer games are very popular for all ages and nationalities. Parents think this has little educational value and it will be harmful for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Video games are being popular among us. The cause is, it is cheap and affordable for everyone. However, parents do not like that our child every will get sing into digital pleasure. This increase in the market. Whereas, father and mother did not know that, their child tiptoe buying. On the other hand, it has become a business for manufactures. Despite the government, but nothing solving problems. More than trumping kids has become an addiction. Moreover, they knew, whether, exams.
Video games are being popular among us. The cause is, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
and affordable for everyone.
However
, parents do not like that our child every will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sing into digital pleasure. This increase in the market. Whereas, father and mother did not know that, their child tiptoe buying.
On the other hand
, it has become a business for manufactures. Despite the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nothing solving problems. More than trumping kids has become an addiction.
Moreover
, they knew
If “ whether” starts an indirect question, you do not need to put a comma before it.
, whether
, exams.
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IELTS essay Computer games are very popular for all ages and nationalities. Parents think this has little educational value and it will be harmful for children.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
80 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Computer games are very popular for all ages and nationalities. Parents think this has little educational value and it will be harmful for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?