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Computer games are very popular for all ages and nationalities. Parents think this has little educational value and it will be harmful for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, digital games are the main source of entertainment in today’s world. Everyone would like to play computer games during their leisure time, especially kids, therefore, some parents are against it. They believe online games create a bad influence on children instead of playing video games they preferred education for children. In my opinion, I completely agree with this notation that study is the priority for kids, not video games. However, it is also true some of the games are developed for pupils which enhances their study skills if they play for a certain time. Firstly, kids become addicted to games if they allow playing continuously. As a result, they cannot do focus on their study. On top of that, it is also not good for their physical and mental health. Instead of playing video games, every child should play outdoor games. It has been proved by 2019, an American research article that kids who play games longer time can not achieve better scores in their school examinations. Moreover, educational games also do not take the place of school. School is the place where children can get an education and learn different things. By playing games students learn nothing they become introverted and lonely. Due to play alone kids also get scared to face the audience. Another point is game developer develop their games for all kinds of ages group because of that Sometimes children also get exposed to some negative stuff while playing the games. For example, many children like to play violent games due to that they like violence in routine life. In a closing sentence, I would like to say it is parents’ responsibility to teach their child important and drawbacks of computer games and motivate their children to go school and get a good education, which will help them in their future.
Nowadays, digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are the main source of entertainment in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world. Everyone would like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
during their leisure time,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
,
therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents are against it. They believe online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
create a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
they preferred education for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. In my opinion, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notation that study is the priority for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
, not video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
However
, it is
also
true
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are developed
for pupils which enhances their study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
for a certain time.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
become addicted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
continuously
.
As a result
, they cannot do focus on their study.
On top of that
, it is
also
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for their physical and mental health.
Instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, every child should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. It has
been proved
by 2019, an American research article that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
longer time can not achieve better scores in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
examinations.

Moreover
, educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
also
do not take the place of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
is the place where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an education and learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things. By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
students learn nothing they become introverted and lonely. Due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
alone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
scared to face the audience. Another point is game developer develop their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
for all kinds of ages group
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
exposed to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
stuff while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
due to that they like violence in routine life.

In a closing sentence, I would like to say it is parents’ responsibility to teach their child
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and drawbacks of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and motivate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
education, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in their future.
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IELTS essay Computer games are very popular for all ages and nationalities. Parents think this has little educational value and it will be harmful for children.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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