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Computer games are very popular for all ages and nationalities.

Computer games are very popular for all ages and nationalities. ENgKq
Nowadays, children are very much addicted to games, which has become a concern for parents all over the world. They think it is affecting their kids and it has no value in education. Though there are arguments, I radically agree that gaming habit is not doing any good to humankind. This essay will discuss the views and explain why I think so. To begin with, while technology is growing with progressive society, there are also many negative side effects of games. Firstly, living in a fictional life is very dangerous as well as worrying for children. They think themselves a real character of the game, hence try to behave like that in their practical life too. For example, a boy in India was so much addicted to video-games that he murdered his own parents because he imagined himself a figure from the play. Secondly, is gives eye pressure. Many children have a tendency to hunch over the screen, as a result, they are getting poor eyesight at a very early age. kids watch the screen all the time, for instance, may have high power glasses. Therefore, kids are doing bad in their study and gaining nothing in life. On the other hand, sometimes kids may gain something positive too from games. Technology and science are releasing more games every day to attract kids in order to remain in the market. Some brain games, for example, may grow a kid's innovating skill. However, PC games or PlayStation are so addicting that children prefer to play indoor all the time instead of going outside. They take it as their timepass or mental relaxation. Games' alluring attributes are attracting more kids day by day, thus many kids dream to own these. Moreover, they may have very little good as well, but this is not worth it in order to the negative impacts. In conclusion, this essay has discussed the views. Although there are pros and cons, I reckon that these have made children lazier as well as vicious. Kids get no or very little education from games.
Nowadays,
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children
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much addicted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, which has become a concern for parents all over the world. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is affecting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
and it has no value in education. Though there are arguments, I
radically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that gaming habit is not doing any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to humankind. This essay will discuss the views and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, while technology is growing with progressive society, there are
also
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many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side effects of
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games
.
Firstly
, living in a fictional life is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
as well
as
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worrying for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
themselves a real character of the game,
hence
try to behave like that in their practical life too.
For example
, a boy in India was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much addicted to video-games that he murdered his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he imagined himself a figure from the play.
Secondly
, is gives eye pressure.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have a tendency to hunch over the screen,
as a result
, they are getting poor eyesight at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early age.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the screen all the time,
for instance
, may have high power glasses.
Therefore
,
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kids
are doing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
in their study and gaining nothing in life.

On the other hand
,
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sometimes
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kids
may gain something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
too from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. Technology and science are releasing more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
every day to attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
in order to remain in the market.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
brain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
,
for example
, may grow a kid's innovating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.
However
, PC
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
or PlayStation are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
addicting that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
prefer to play indoor all the time
instead
of going outside. They take it as their
Possible spelling mistake found.
timepass
or mental relaxation. Games' alluring attributes are attracting more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
day by day,
thus
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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kids
dream to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
these.
Moreover
, they may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
as well
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this is not worth it in order to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts.

In conclusion
, this essay has discussed the views. Although there are pros and cons, I reckon that these have made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
lazier
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
well as vicious.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
education from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
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IELTS essay Computer games are very popular for all ages and nationalities.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
344 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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