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Computer games are very popular for all ages and nationalities. Parents think this has little educational value and it will be harmful for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Computer games have become increasingly popular in an age of mobile devices and advancing graphical interfaces. While some claim there is educational value in these games, I would side with those decrying the propagation of a passive lifestyle. Supporters of gaming can point to its alleged benefits for cognitive functioning. It is difficult to do good research in this area, but many recent studies have found optimistic results not only related to hand-eye coordination but also mental development. This is also supported by common sense because as games have become more advanced, players must now follow intricate stories lines, figure out difficult puzzles and outsmart progressively intelligent artificial intelligence. Depending on the age of the gamer and the game in question it is very likely there are legitimate cognitive gains that can be attributed to the extensive playing of games. Nonetheless, the marginal advances listed above pale in comparison to the effects of a passive lifestyle on both physical and mental health. Mobile devices and the internet generally, but videogames in particular, are the leading causes of the more sedentary lifestyles that most children and teens now lead, often extending into adulthood. This leaves them at risk of developing bad habits that could later translate into more serious health conditions. Added to this is the mental aspect. Playing games is, next to watching televisions shows, one of the least active forms of entertainment. It would be more beneficial for people of all ages to play a team sport, read a book, spend more time with family, or take up a productive and creative hobby. In short, computer games may offer a limited range of intellectual benefits but they also come at great physical and mental cost. It is therefore up to parents and individuals themselves to opt for more constructive pastimes.
Computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have become
increasingly
popular in an age of mobile devices and advancing graphical interfaces. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
claim there is educational value in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, I would side with those decrying the propagation of a passive lifestyle.

Supporters of gaming can point to its alleged benefits for cognitive functioning. It is difficult to do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
research in this area,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
recent studies have found optimistic results not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
related to hand-eye coordination
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
development. This is
also
supported by common sense
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have become more advanced, players
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
follow intricate stories lines, figure out difficult puzzles and outsmart
progressively
intelligent artificial intelligence. Depending on the age of the gamer and the game in question it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
likely there are legitimate cognitive gains that can
be attributed
to the extensive playing of games.

Nonetheless, the marginal advances listed above pale
in comparison
to the effects of a passive lifestyle on both physical and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
health. Mobile devices and the internet
generally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
videogames
in particular
, are the leading causes of the more sedentary lifestyles that most children and teens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
lead,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
extending into adulthood. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
them at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of developing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits that could later translate into more serious health conditions.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Added
to this is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
aspect. Playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is,
next
to watching televisions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, one of the least active forms of entertainment. It would be more beneficial for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of all ages to play a team sport, read a book, spend more time with family, or take up a productive and creative hobby.

In short, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
may offer a limited range of intellectual benefits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
at great physical and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
cost. It is
therefore
up to parents and individuals themselves to opt for more constructive pastimes.
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IELTS essay Computer games are very popular for all ages and nationalities. Parents think this has little educational value and it will be harmful for children.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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