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Computer games are becoming popular nowadays. What are the advantages and disadvantages of video games?

Computer games are becoming popular nowadays. What are the advantages and disadvantages of video games? NrwlW
The fame of computer games has been spread all over the globe that has raised also the number of players involved in them. The availability of being in the epicentre of actions increases the gamers’ ability to make decisions in stressful conditions, although spending too much time in virtual reality occasionally can blur the borders between genuine and fictional worlds. The crucial advantage which the computer players have over the ones who are not interested in computer activities is the speed of making decisions of critical importance and this is a good training tool for real-world situations. As the majority of computer games have a definite objective and certain rules and restrictions are involved, therefore these rules and restrictions frequently force players to solve a problem and think about alternative routes or moves. Playing video games means that players have to think on their feet taking split-second decisions that can make or break a game so it forces the brain to come up with creative solutions to problems improving logical thinking skills and developing imagination. According to the research conducted by Entertainment Software Association, gamers who spend time daily with fast-paced games can react to questions or situations up to 25% faster. The biggest negative effect of playing computer games is that in the case of some people it leads to a change in behaviour of a person, particularly raising the tendency towards displaying violent behaviour. Many video games are built on the premise of engaging in reckless or criminal behaviour, such as kicking, stabbing, fast driving or theft. Vengeance, aggression or violence is rewarded with victory points. Children who are exposed to these games from an early age show a tendency to act out similar scenarios in real life as they may feel that the same behaviour is acceptable in the real world as well. For example, in New York, on June 26, 2008, a group of teenagers, motivated by the video game Grand Theft Auto IV violently mugged a man in a grocery store and smash a van using one of the baseball bats they had brought to the crime scene. To conclude, although video games can improve the strategic thinking decision-making process, gamers should remember that they ought to win only one particular game, the game of life.
The fame of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
has
been spread
all over the globe that has raised
also
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
involved in them. The availability of being in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'epicentre' is British English.
epicentre
of actions increases the gamers’ ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decisions in stressful conditions, although spending too much time in virtual reality
occasionally
can blur the borders between genuine and fictional worlds.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
crucial advantage which the computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
have over the ones who are not interested in computer activities is the speed of making decisions of critical importance and this is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
training tool for real-world situations. As the majority of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
objective and certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and restrictions
are involved
,
therefore
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and restrictions
frequently
force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
to solve a problem and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about alternative routes or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moves
. Playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
on their feet taking split-second decisions that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
or break a game
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it forces the brain to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with creative solutions to problems improving logical thinking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and developing imagination. According to the research conducted by Entertainment Software Association, gamers who spend time daily with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can react to questions or situations up to 25% faster.

The biggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect of playing computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is that in the case of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
it leads to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of a person,
particularly
raising the tendency towards displaying violent
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are built
on the premise of engaging in reckless or criminal
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, such as kicking, stabbing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
driving or theft. Vengeance, aggression or violence
is rewarded
with victory points. Children who
are exposed
to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
from an early age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a tendency to act out similar scenarios in real life as they may feel that the same
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
is acceptable in the real world
as well
.
For example
, in New York, on June 26, 2008, a group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, motivated by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
game Grand Theft Auto IV
violently
mugged a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
in a grocery store and smash a van using one of the baseball bats they had brought to the crime scene.

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the strategic thinking decision-making process, gamers should remember that they ought to win
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one particular game, the game of life.
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IELTS essay Computer games are becoming popular nowadays. What are the advantages and disadvantages of video games?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
381 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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