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Some people think that the government should spend as much money as possible on protecting the environment. Others think this money should be spent on other things such as education and healthcare. Which one of these opinions do you agree with?

Some people think that the government should spend as much money as possible on protecting the environment. Others think this money should be spent on other things such as education and healthcare. Which one of these opinions do you agree with? m1X3K
Nowadays, the government spends a great amount of money to protect the environment. However, a number of people believe that they should invest more on other things like education and healthcare. I strongly disagree that it should be spent on other things instead of the environment. First of all, we are the ones polluting the atmosphere and killing our world. We are the ones that have contributed to the rise in global temperatures over the last century by carbon dioxide emissions, the use of natural gas and oil, deforestation, and a variety of other factors. If we pay attention, we can see a clear picture of how our actions have a clear impact on our planet. As a result of our acts and carelessness, natural disasters are becoming more frequent. It is past time for us to start caring for the environment by spending as much money as possible to keep it safe. The first thing that comes to mind when I think about the ecosystem is how much we depend on it. It provides the most important thing to this plant, "oxygen, " as well as food for it to thrive. It's like having a family mother. A family without a mother is unthinkable to us. We understand how much a family loses when a female figure known as mother is absent. The world provides us with everything we need in our day-to-day lives. When we consider human needs, such as food, clothing, shelter, and medicine, we can see that the world meets all of them. It is then our responsibility to take care of the thing that provides so much. So, in order to protect the world, we should invest as much as possible in its well-being. In conclusion, money is important for living a healthy life because it allows us to buy the things we need the most. However, if the environment which we depend the most is polluted as a result of our negligence, money has little value. As a result, we need your help to protect the environment and keep its best interests in mind.
Nowadays, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
spends a great amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
However
, a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that they should invest more on other things like education and healthcare. I
strongly
disagree that it should
be spent
on other things
instead
of the environment.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, we are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
polluting the atmosphere and killing our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. We are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
that have contributed to the rise in global temperatures over the last century by carbon dioxide emissions, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of natural gas and oil, deforestation, and a variety of other factors. If we pay attention, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
picture of how our actions have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
impact on our planet.
As a result
of our acts and carelessness, natural disasters are becoming more frequent. It is
Did you mean "pastime"?
past time
for us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
caring for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
by spending as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it safe.

The
first
thing that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to mind when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the ecosystem is how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
we depend on it. It provides the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing to this plant,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
oxygen,
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
as well
as food for it to thrive. It's like having a family mother. A family without a mother is unthinkable to us. We understand how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
a family loses when a female figure known as mother is absent. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
provides us with everything we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
in our day-to-day
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. When we consider human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
, such as food, clothing, shelter, and medicine, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
meets all of them. It is then our responsibility to take care of the thing that provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in order to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, we should invest as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
as possible in its well-being.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for living a healthy life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the things we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
the most.
However
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
which we
The verb 'to depend' requires the preposition '(up)on': "depend on".
depend
the most
is polluted
as a result
of our negligence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
value.
As a result
, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
its best interests in mind.
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IELTS essay Some people think that the government should spend as much money as possible on protecting the environment. Others think this money should be spent on other things such as education and healthcare. Which one of these opinions do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
350 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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