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Completing university education

Completing university education g5VRd
Some people thought that finishing a Bachelor’s degree will give them edge in getting into the best career. In contrary, others think it is better to have work experience and skills. In my opinion, getting a degree is important for jobs like doctors and lawyers which have longer years of study while skills are for jobs like businessmen. Education has a huge impact for employment in academic jobs such as, doctors, lawyers and teachers. Knowledge they have gained from formal education is needed in their everyday work. They will not be able to perform their job without this. For example, a doctor cannot operate a patient without studying Anatomy. Also, they need this to impart their learnings to others. A teacher cannot teach a student without prior understanding of the lectures. Thus, being educated in a university plays a vital role in academic jobs. On the other hand, skills are important for business related jobs because it entails handling money, managing manpower and connecting with partners. Budgeting and accounting keep the businesses working so they hire accountants to work for them. With this, managing workers is also an important skill for businessmen. They have to check the needs of their employees. Other than this, they also build connections with partner companies. Many businesses nowadays thrive because of continuous partnership with huge companies. All of these prove that skills and experiences are valuable in business related work. Therefore, in my opinion, knowing your career path before entering college is important to prepare for one’s future job. Everything depends on the capabilities a person have to be accepted for a job. In conclusion, getting a good job requires either formal education or skills improvement. People should make sure they have these necessary skills or degrees before applying for a job.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that finishing a Bachelor’s degree will give them edge in getting into the best career. In contrary, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is better to have work experience and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. In my opinion, getting a degree is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
like doctors and lawyers which have longer years of study while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
like businessmen.

Education has a huge impact for employment in academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
such as, doctors, lawyers and teachers. Knowledge they have gained from formal education
is needed
in their everyday work. They will not be able to perform their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
without this.
For example
, a doctor cannot operate a patient without studying Anatomy.
Also
, they need this to impart their learnings to others. A teacher cannot teach a student without prior understanding of the lectures.
Thus
,
being educated
in a university plays a vital role in academic jobs.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it entails handling money, managing manpower and connecting with partners. Budgeting and accounting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they hire accountants to work for them. With this, managing workers is
also
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
for businessmen. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the needs of their employees.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
than this, they
also
build connections with partner
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
nowadays thrive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of continuous partnership with huge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. All of these prove that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and experiences are valuable in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
related work.

Therefore
, in my opinion, knowing your career path
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
entering college is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to prepare for one’s future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Everything depends on the capabilities a person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
for a job.

In conclusion
, getting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
requires either formal education or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
improvement.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure they have these necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
or degrees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
applying for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
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IELTS essay Completing university education

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
298 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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