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neighbors and lack a sense of community

neighbors and lack a sense of community n65mE
Recently, thanks to expanding urban areas, people show little interest to keep in touch with their neighbours, in the aftermath lack a sense of community does not lead to build relationships among the citizens living in the same vicinity. This essay will examine the key reasons of this matter and give fundamental solution to maintain it. First and foremost, there is no doubt that heavy traffic congestion, overpopulated, including household chores and other kinds of problems are the principal ones to make people engage much instead of interacting even with their neighbours. Simultaneously, living in a densely populated cities people tend to earn a vast of money to provide a luxurious life for themselves. Therefore, citizens prefer to work longer hours rather than before. A survey which was owned Chicago University in 2014 proved that the Americans opt to work up to 16 hours a day to realize their dreams, as well as to cover daily expenditures. On the contrary, working overtime cannot prevent their entertainment, in most cases American citizens enjoy spending the rest of the day in clubs building relationships with others outside. Secondly, our modern life requires to live more comfort than before, it means highly improving technological devices are caused to communicate even familiar ones from distance. Rapidly developing social media caused lack of communication not only among adults but also children. In a virtual life, most users boost their self-confidence and self-esteem, lose their shyness in connecting while, they are totally different in a reality, sometimes hesitate to speak in community. Research data in Finland indicate that about 80% students waste time talking strangers online. In conclusion, avoiding introversion, a human should keep in touch with others, in particular neighbours despite surplus of work.
Recently, thanks to expanding urban areas,
people
show
little
interest to
keep
in touch with their
neighbours
, in the aftermath lack a sense of community does not lead to build relationships among the citizens living in the same vicinity. This essay will examine the key reasons of this matter and give fundamental solution to maintain it.

First
and foremost, there is no doubt that heavy traffic congestion, overpopulated, including household chores and other kinds of problems are the principal ones to
make
people
engage much
instead
of interacting even with their
neighbours
.
Simultaneously
, living in a
densely
populated cities
people
tend to earn a vast of money to provide a luxurious life for themselves.
Therefore
, citizens prefer to work longer hours
rather
than
before
. A survey which was
owned
Chicago University in 2014 proved that the Americans opt to work up to 16 hours a day to realize their dreams,
as well
as to cover daily expenditures.
On the contrary
, working overtime cannot
prevent
their entertainment,
in most cases
American citizens enjoy spending the rest of the day in clubs building relationships with others outside.

Secondly
, our modern life requires to
live
more comfort than
before
, it means
highly
improving technological devices
are caused
to communicate even familiar ones from distance.
Rapidly
developing social media caused lack of communication not
only
among adults
but
also
children. In a virtual life, most users boost their self-confidence and self-esteem, lose their shyness in connecting while, they are
totally
different
in a reality,
sometimes
hesitate to speak in community. Research data in Finland indicate that about 80% students waste time talking strangers online.

In conclusion
, avoiding introversion, a human should
keep
in touch with others,
in particular
neighbours
despite surplus of work.
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IELTS essay neighbors and lack a sense of community

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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