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Comparing a stabilized bike and a real one

Comparing a stabilized bike and a real one APdbX
As you know, bike has an important role in our lives. We use it for going to school, work, or maybe exercising, and it goes without saying that it can be a cool option to buy as a gift if you want to make a kid happy; but have you ever thought about the best and useful bike you could afford? Indeed we have two major types of bicycle and according to their benefits, you can choose one. The first type is normal bikes which are used by most of the people and the second one is stabilized bikes which are mostly used by children and new beginners. In fact, stabilized bikes are normal bicycles with an extra pair of small wheels that can help beginners to ride without falling over. Now let's see which one is the best for you. First of all, stabilized kind is much slower than a normal one, so obviously, it is a stupid idea to send your children to school by these bikes. They'll probably get to school when it is closed! In this case you should be looking for a normal and fast kind of bike. Another difference between them is that stabilized bikes are famous because of the safety they give you and that's why most of the parents would rather buy them for their kids. Actually it depends on the person who wants to ride it. If your child is so scared of falling, then you can start from the stabilizers; however, if the person has enough courage, it's much better to start with a normal one in order to avoid from catching bad habits. I mean you know that you can't use the stabilizers till the end of time because you're not going to be a coward child forever! In the same way, we should also consider one more thing and it is that stabilizers are completely useless on uneven ground. Generally, stabilizers are keeping your bike upright, only if the surface is flat. Otherwise, you should expect falling from the bike and getting your knees injured very badly. So by any chance, if you're living on the mountain or on another bumpy planet, do not pick the stabilized bike unless you really want to know how bad breaking your bones and head could be! I guess I said enough. Now it's your term to go and buy a nice bike according to my long, useful essay.
As you know,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bike
has an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for going to school, work, or maybe exercising, and it goes without saying that it can be a cool option to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
as a gift if you want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a kid happy;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
have you ever
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
about the best and useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bike
you could afford?
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Indeed
we have two major types of bicycle and according to their benefits, you can choose one.

The
first
type is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bikes
which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and the second one is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stabilized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bikes
which are
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by children and new beginners. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stabilized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bikes
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
normal
bicycles with an extra pair of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
wheels that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
beginners to ride without falling over.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
which one is the best for you.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stabilized
kind is much slower than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
normal
one,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
obviously
, it is a stupid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
your children to school by these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bikes
. They'll
probably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to school when it
is closed
!
In this case
you should be looking for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
normal
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
kind of bike.

Another difference between them is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stabilized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bikes
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the safety they give you and that's why most of the parents would
rather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them for their kids. Actually it depends on the person who wants to ride it. If your child is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
scared of falling, then you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stabilizers
;
however
, if the person has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
courage, it's much better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
normal
one in order to avoid from catching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits. I mean you know that you can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stabilizers
till the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you're not going to be a coward child forever!

In the same way
, we should
also
consider one more thing and it is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stabilizers
are completely useless on uneven ground.
Generally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stabilizers
are keeping your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bike
upright,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if the surface is flat.
Otherwise
, you should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
falling from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bike
and getting your knees injured
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
badly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
by any chance, if you're living on the mountain or on another bumpy planet, do not pick the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stabilized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bike
unless you
really
want to know how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
breaking your bones and head could be!

I guess I said
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
it's your term to go and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a nice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bike
according to my long, useful essay.
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IELTS essay Comparing a stabilized bike and a real one

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
407 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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