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Compare shopping at stores and shoping online

Compare shopping at stores and shoping online 5Ae9V
Do you know nowadays young girls or even women consider shopping as an important activity that needs to have in their life? Shopping not only helps young girls and women to entertain after work, but it also meets their own demand. With technological development, besides doing shopping at stores as a usual thing, doing shopping online has recently developed for five years. Shopping online has got interested in young girls and women so far. Is there any comparison between shopping at stores and shopping online? It will be three features. They are time, quality, and payment. To begin with, young girls and women can not deny that stores for shopping are getting more at their place in where they live. They spend too much shopping at stores because there are a variety of items in the store. When they want to buy something they have to find where items are. Shopping at stores is inconvenient for busy women with their work. However, quality and payment are very good for shopping at stores. Quality is ensured since young girls and women can see items in their eyes or even they can touch those items to see which material those clothes are made of and whether those clothes are torn somewhere. The other is payment, young girls and women can pay directly by credit card or cash at stores when they finished shopping but cash is mostly used much. Payment is fast and convenient even though the items that they bought are included low tax. On the other hand, shopping online is known through e-commerce apps such as Tiki, Lazada, and Shopee. With a smartphone or technological devices, shopping online becomes more convenient. It does not take a lot of time to shop. When young girls and women need something they just find it on their apps by writing the name of the product. Some minutes after there will be all relevant products, which is very easy and fast for busy women. Nevertheless, quality and payment have some trouble in. There are some risks when young girls and women buy items they have to face that are products young girls and women receive are not the same pictures of those items on online or products which are torn and different material. In addition, there are two payment options online. One is by cash with included high ship fee and payment is received directly from delivers. Payment is long. The other is by credit card through banks, Zalo pays, etc. This one is more convenient but it will be inconvenient for those who do not have with. To conclude, even though comparison three features about time, quality, and payment between shopping at stores and shopping online, young girls and women are still interested in shopping as their hobbies.
Do you know nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
or even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
as an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
activity that needs to have in their life?
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Shopping
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to entertain after work,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
meets their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
demand. With technological development,
besides
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
as a usual thing, doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
has recently developed for five years.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
interested in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far. Is there any comparison between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
? It will be three features. They are time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
, and payment.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can not deny that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
are getting more at their place in where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. They spend too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
something they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
find where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
are.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Shopping
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
is inconvenient for busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
with their work.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Quality
is ensured
since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
in their eyes or even they can touch those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
which material those clothes
are made
of and whether those clothes
are torn
somewhere. The other is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can pay
directly
by credit card or cash at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
when they finished
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
cash is
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
much.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Payment
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and convenient
even though
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
are included
low tax.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is known
through e-commerce apps such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tiki
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lazada
, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shopee
. With a smartphone or technological devices,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
becomes more convenient. It does not take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time to shop. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
need something they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
find it on their apps by writing the name of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
minutes after there will be all relevant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
for busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
trouble in. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face that are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
receive are not the same pictures of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which
are torn
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
material.
In addition
, there are two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
options
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. One is by cash with included high ship fee and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
is received
directly
from delivers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Payment
is long. The other is by credit card through banks,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Zalo
pays, etc. This one is more convenient
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will be inconvenient for those who do not have with.

To conclude
,
even though
comparison three features about time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
still
interested in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
as their hobbies.
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IELTS essay Compare shopping at stores and shoping online

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
465 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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