Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

compare childhood in the present and in the past

compare childhood in the present and in the past 0waQq
We all know childhood in the present is different from the past because of developed sociaty. So which is better for the childrent? In the past, children lived in a world without electronic devices which are almost used for working. They usually spent time to playing traditional games outside with friends or neighbors and didn't worry so much about the homework. It's extremely helpful to develop their healthy physical and teamwork skill. When they grew up, they might smile while thinking about their funny and memorable childhood. Nowaday, children access on the internet earlier and easier than the children in the past. It's one of the best way to learn and explore new things around the world outside of knowledge from the shool. Moreover, there are many choices for entertainment because of developed technology and modern facilities so that children are able to play alone all day with an Ipad, a computer or a smart phone. Besides these benifits, I worry that modern children are exposed to so much “adult content” and abnormal adult behaviour on TV, movies and the internet that they may end up with a very confused idea of right and wrong. I was tutor of the 7 years old girl last summer and I was usually asked many questions about something she saw on her Ipad. I realized that children might imitate what adult did and assuming that what they do is right. They swear at each other instead of sweet words, they dress up, smoke, even behave violently just because they see adults do it in movies. So I think it's necessery to warn modern people that exposing child too early to an electronic device without parents's supervision will damage the child. In conclusion, the past childhood is good but not enough. Kids need more modern facilities and caring of parents to grow up healthy and balance. Personally, family and education system should have solutions to control the kid's connecting internet time and spend more time for outside activities with children.
We all know childhood in the present is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of developed
Possible spelling mistake found.
sociaty
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
which is better for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrent
?

In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in a world without

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
electronic
devices which are almost
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for working. They
usually
spent time to playing traditional games outside with friends or neighbors and didn't worry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much about the homework. It's
extremely
helpful to develop their healthy physical and teamwork
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
. When they grew up, they might smile while thinking about their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
and memorable childhood.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Nowaday
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
access on the internet earlier and easier than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
. It's one of the best way to learn and explore new things around the world outside of knowledge from the
Possible spelling mistake found.
shool
.
Moreover
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
choices for entertainment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of developed technology and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
facilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are able to play alone all day with an
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ipad
, a computer or a smart phone.
Besides
these
Possible spelling mistake found.
benifits
, I worry that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are exposed
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much “adult content” and abnormal adult
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
on TV, movies and the internet that they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
confused
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. I was
Consider using a past participle here: "tutored".
tutor
of the 7 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
girl last
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
summer and
I was
usually
asked
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
questions about something she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
on her
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ipad
. I realized that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might imitate what adult did and assuming that what they do is right. They swear at each other
instead
of sweet words, they dress up, smoke, even behave
violently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
do it in movies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it's
Possible spelling mistake found.
necessery
to warn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that exposing child too early to an electronic device without
Did you mean "parent's" or "parents'"?
parents's
supervision will damage the child.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
childhood is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. Kids need more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
facilities and caring of parents to grow up healthy and balance.
Personally
, family and education system should have solutions to control the kid's connecting internet time and spend more time for outside activities with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay compare childhood in the present and in the past

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
336 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5.5band
    talk about your idea if you had a huge amount of money
    Currently, obesity is becoming an increasing issue in both developed and less developed regions of the world. Along with that, malnutrition is also a worrying problem for mothers whose young children. So, if I had a huge amount of money, I would invest it into a plan I have always cherished. That is...
  • 5band
    Talk about your holiday related to water
    Last summer, my family went on a vacation to Cat Ba island, located in Hai Phong city, and I was captivated with the people here and the picturesque beach above all. We had to take a ferry from the mainland to arrive at this destination, which lasted roughly one hour. Fortuitously, I was not seasick...
  • 5.5band
    many people complain about stress at work. why it happens? how can employers and employees reduce stress?
    nowadays, feeling stress at work is quite common and became a measure issue. under stress person can not do well in their work. in upcoming paragraphs, different measors that epmployee as well as employer can take to avoide stress situtation along with the prime reasons of stress at work are describ...
  • 5band
    a review about high school musical
    Zac Efron and Vanessa Anne Hudgens star in this Disney film as popular basketball team captain Troy, and smart stunning academic Gabriella, both shock the members of the social cliques to which they belong when they each decide to audition for the high schools musical by proving themselves to be bri...
  • 6band
    Should Vietnamese elderly live in nursing homes?
    Tia Walker once said “To care for those who once cared for us is one of the highest honors”. This, indeed, is one mission that should not be neglected, thus leading to the rise of nursing services in recent years. Though living in retirement homes possesses both advantages and disadvantages, it is m...
  • 6band
    Nowadays, technology is advancing at a rapid rate, making people work from their homes as well.
    Nowadays, technology is advancing at a rapid rate, making people work from their homes as well. In the early times, however, people used to commute to their place of work and now, a fair number of people are working from home by making use of computers, the internet, and smartphones. This essay will...