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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? "Company should give each employee the same benefits package." Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

"Company should give each employee the same benefits package. " Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. YRYdj
Nowadays, in addition to salary and working environment, benefits package is also an important factor for a job seeker when choosing a job. There are some arguments that company should give each employee the same benefits package. I do not agree with this statement because different benefits package will create a fair working environment, foster employees’loyalty and attract more top talents. In this essay, I will give some specific reasons for my opinion. To commence with, benefits package should differ depending on each employee’s effciency. Employees who work harder and bring more revenues for company should be given a higher fringe package. For example, my brother is working as a sales assistant at a company. He has helped to increase the revenue of his branch, so he is offered the triple bonus than other staff. Besides, other staff will also be encouraged to work harder and harder to get higher fringe package. Secondly, different fringe packages foster loyalty and honesty between employees. Each company has different package according to seniority and performance. Therefore, they will retain their loyal employees to stay with the company longer. For instance, besides higher salary, long-serving employee will have longer additional paid annual leave. By offering these extra benefits, companies can encourage workers to serve long term. Last but not least, company with impressive fringe benefit will attract more potential talents. Companys need excellent employees to compete with other companies, so it will bring a lot of advantages if employers flexibly adjust the fringe benefits on a case-by-case basis when an employee requires. Therefore, companies can recruit more top talents. To sum up, various welfare pacakge will be a feasible and realistic option for companies in a competitive labor market today. They will inspire loyalty from employees, create an equal working environment and recruit top talents.
Nowadays,
in addition
to salary and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
environment,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
package
is
also
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor for a job seeker when choosing a job. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
arguments that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
should give each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
package
. I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
package
will create a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
environment, foster employees’loyalty and attract more top talents. In this essay, I will give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific reasons for my opinion.

To commence with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
package
should differ depending on each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee’s
Possible spelling mistake found.
effciency
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Employees
who work harder and bring more revenues for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fringe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
package
.
For example
, my brother is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
as a sales assistant at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. He has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to increase the revenue of his branch,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he
is offered
the triple bonus than other staff.
Besides
, other staff will
also
be encouraged
to work harder and harder to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fringe
package.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fringe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packages
foster loyalty and honesty between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
. Each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
package
according to seniority and performance.
Therefore
, they will retain their loyal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to stay with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
longer.
For instance
,
besides
higher salary, long-serving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
will have longer additional paid annual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
. By offering these extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can encourage workers to serve long term.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
with impressive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fringe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
will attract more potential talents.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Companys
need excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to compete with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it will bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages if employers
flexibly
adjust the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fringe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
on a case-by-case basis when an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
requires.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can recruit more top talents.

To sum up, various welfare
Possible spelling mistake found.
pacakge
will be a feasible and realistic option for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
in a competitive labor market
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. They will inspire loyalty from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
, create an equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
environment and recruit top talents.
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IELTS essay "Company should give each employee the same benefits package. " Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
301 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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