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Companies use advertisements to influence people to buy things sometimes which they don’t need. Give your opinion about this practice?

Companies use advertisements to influence people to buy things sometimes which they don’t need. Give your opinion about this practice? awJkV
In recent years, there has been a colossal upsurge in the trend to see companies spending a lot of money on commercial programs in order to propagate their products. In this essay, I will elaborate advertisements often deceive people by informing incorrect or unknown information about products. At the outset, there is a myriad of reasons why advertising is manipulating the viewers to augment profit. Firstly, the most conspicuous one is that advertisements usually repeat the same message about one product again and again, and consumers tend to believe the message while it is not true. Not only do these show the brighter side of the products, but they also hide negative aspects of the products, thus leading to many unavoidable consequences; for example, there is a billion-dollar market of beauty products, but it hardly makes any change to the skin and body. Therefore, needless to say, all these demerits will have a far-reaching impact on the people, as far as buying the best product in the market is concerned. To embark on this, another pivotal facet of the argument is that endorsements usually use celebrities to advertise products since people believe that celebrities are trustworthy and buy products. Besides, people end up purchasing the endorsed products even if they are not really required. For example, football players influence youngsters and they buy products promoted by their favourite sports star without giving the second thought about the product. Hence, it hardly needs to mention that the negative aspects associated with the advertising keep an individual in a low-level position. From what has been discussed above, it can be concluded the pitfalls brought up by the commercial promotions are indeed too dire to ignore.
In recent years, there has been a colossal upsurge in the trend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money on commercial programs in order to propagate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. In this essay, I will elaborate advertisements
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
deceive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by informing incorrect or unknown information about products.

At the outset, there is a myriad of reasons why advertising is manipulating the viewers to augment profit.
Firstly
, the most conspicuous one is that advertisements
usually
repeat the same message about one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
again and again, and consumers tend to believe the message while it is not true. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the brighter side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
,
thus
leading to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
unavoidable consequences;
for example
, there is a billion-dollar market of beauty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it hardly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to the skin and body.
Therefore
, needless to say, all these demerits will have a far-reaching impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, as far as buying the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
in the market
is concerned
.

To embark on this, another pivotal facet of the argument is that endorsements
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
celebrities to advertise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that celebrities are trustworthy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up purchasing the endorsed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
even if they are not
really
required.
For example
, football players influence
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
youngsters and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
promoted by their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
sports star without giving the second
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
Hence
, it hardly needs to mention that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects associated with the advertising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
an individual in a low-level position.

From what has
been discussed
above, it can
be concluded
the pitfalls brought up by the commercial promotions are
indeed
too dire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
.
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IELTS essay Companies use advertisements to influence people to buy things sometimes which they don’t need. Give your opinion about this practice?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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