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Companies should avoid recruiting young women who have not started a family yet as they may be required to pay for their maternity leave later on. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Companies should avoid recruiting young women who have not started a family yet as they may be required to pay for their maternity leave later on. g5WMO
Currently, young single women are believed to be avoided in hiring on a job as the company may be obliged to pay them maternity leave payments in the future. While this does cause inconveniences to the business, I am convinced that this is a chauvinistic tendency and should not be supported. On the one hand, when hiring an unmarried woman a company may face a search for a new employee, as well as additional expenses in the future. I think that this situation is not profitable, in the sense that a company will need to finance a search of a new worker and provide them with a reasonable salary. Albeit a new employee will substitute woman on a maternity leave, he still will be in need to be informed and trained how to work in this company and how to deal with colleagues. Moreover, company’s financial department will deal with rearrangement of finances and all additional expenses connected with a new worker. Therefore, all these procedures do become a highly time-consuming and expensive experience for a company. On the other hand, marking out mentioned above women from other job-seekers may be considered as a breaking of human rights. Apart from young women, who may take a maternity leave, also, in modern society, a young man could ask for a paternity pay and will stay at home helping his wife with a newborn. That makes chances of facing financial inconveniences for a business equally the same as for hiring a young man or a young woman. Furthermore, for example, a young woman could be a childfree person in sense that she is never going to have children at all, thus, it makes no sense of such kind of a gender discrimination. For that reason, marking off women in such a way may cause issues for a business for this kind of a chauvinistic policy. To conclude, company’s policy against hiring young women these days may be considered as a gender inequality. While a business may face additional and unplanned expenses with searching and recruiting a replacement for a woman on maternity leave, I believe, that this is non-acceptable in modern society, where a woman may be childfree person or a young man may ask for paternity leave.
Currently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are believed
to
be avoided
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hiring
on a job as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
may
be obliged
to pay them maternity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
payments in the future. While this does cause inconveniences to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, I
am convinced
that this is a chauvinistic tendency and should not
be supported
.

On the one hand, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hiring
an unmarried
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
may face a search for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
employee,
as well
as additional expenses in the future. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this situation is not profitable, in the sense that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
will need to finance a search of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
worker and provide them with a reasonable salary. Albeit a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
employee will substitute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
on a maternity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
, he
still
will be in need to
be informed
and trained how to work in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
and how to deal with colleagues.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company’s
financial department will deal with rearrangement of finances and all additional expenses connected with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
worker.
Therefore
, all these procedures do become a
highly
time-consuming and expensive experience for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

On the other hand
, marking out mentioned above
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
from other job-seekers may
be considered
as a breaking of human rights. Apart from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, who may take a maternity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
,
also
, in modern society, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
a paternity pay and will stay at home helping his wife with a newborn. That
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
chances of facing financial inconveniences for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
equally
the same as for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hiring
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
woman.

Furthermore
,
for example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
could be a
Possible spelling mistake found.
childfree
person in sense that she is never going to have children at all,
thus
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
no sense of such
If 'kind' is a classification term, 'a' is not necessary. Use "kind of". (The phrases 'kind of' and 'sort of' are informal if they mean 'to some extent'.)
kind of a
gender discrimination. For that reason, marking off
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in such a way may cause issues for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
for this
If 'kind' is a classification term, 'a' is not necessary. Use "kind of". (The phrases 'kind of' and 'sort of' are informal if they mean 'to some extent'.)
kind of a
chauvinistic policy.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company’s
policy against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
these days may
be considered
as a gender inequality. While a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
may face additional and unplanned expenses with searching and recruiting a replacement for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
on maternity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
, I believe, that this is non-acceptable in modern society, where a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
may be
Possible spelling mistake found.
childfree
person or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
paternity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
.
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IELTS essay Companies should avoid recruiting young women who have not started a family yet as they may be required to pay for their maternity leave later on.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
376 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Companies should avoid recruiting young women who have not started a family yet as they may be required to pay for their maternity leave later on. To what extent do you agree or disagree?