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Companies pay salespeople according to how much they sell to customers. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages both to salespeople and customers?

Companies pay salespeople according to how much they sell to customers. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages both to salespeople and customers? BJ2V5
A novel method that some firms implement in terms of salesmen's payment is that they will be paid based on the amount of sale they can have with the customers and buyers. From my perspective, the drawbacks of such a trend prevail in its potential merits due to below rationales. It seems that it may be an effective procedure, and it makes more competitiveness among clerk. The more they could sell, the more money they would make. Such an attitude would be neither in the advantage of sales employees nor the customers. First of all, customers may find it inconvenient in which to be advised or bothered, in some cases, by sellers to what is more recommended and what is not. Actually, they prefer to purchase out of freedom, not out of any lateral strain, or annoying and redundant suggests that salesman provide to guarantee their profits instead of customers' sake. Secondly, it is a possible thing that an unhealthy or destructive comparison and competitiveness will form among employees. By illustration, they may persuade each other's consumers to purchase from them or convey a piece of inappropriate information about their rival colleagues in order to win the game of selling more at any cost. Furthermore, although such an idea will promote job productivity and raise the company's revenue, salespeople alter some robots charged by selling more and more. I meant that other companionship behaviours, such as customers' rights, welfare, or benefit, place beyond personal incomes. Last but not least, there is no doubt that one of the most crucial factors for applicants in the recruitment process is job security and insurance involvement. If they are paid based on their performance on a daily basis, no acute and sustainable commitment will occur. To conclude, although the opinion of receiving wages and incentive according to the salespeople's sales is profitable for the recruiting firm, I am not convinced that such a trend will assist sellers' benefits as well as costumers' convenience and validity due to what I have mentioned.
A novel method that
some
firms implement in terms of salesmen's payment is that they will
be paid
based on the amount of sale they can have with the customers and buyers. From my perspective, the drawbacks of such a trend prevail in its potential merits due to below rationales.

It seems that it may be an effective procedure, and it
makes
more competitiveness among clerk. The more they could sell, the more money they would
make
. Such an attitude would be neither in the advantage of sales employees nor the customers.
First of all
, customers may find it inconvenient in which to
be advised
or bothered, in
some
cases, by sellers to
what is more
recommended and what is not. Actually, they prefer to
purchase
out of freedom, not out of any lateral strain, or annoying and redundant suggests
that salesman provide
to guarantee their profits
instead
of customers' sake.
Secondly
, it is a possible thing that an unhealthy or destructive comparison and competitiveness will form among employees. By illustration, they may persuade each other's consumers to
purchase
from them or convey a piece of inappropriate information about their rival colleagues in order to win the game of selling more at any cost.

Furthermore
, although such an
idea
will promote job productivity and raise the
company
's revenue, salespeople alter
some
robots charged by selling more and more. I meant that other companionship
behaviours
, such as customers' rights, welfare, or benefit, place beyond personal incomes. Last
but
not least, there is no doubt that one of the most crucial factors for applicants in the recruitment process is job security and insurance involvement. If they
are paid
based on their performance on a daily basis, no acute and sustainable commitment will occur.

To conclude
, although the opinion of receiving wages and incentive according to the salespeople's sales is profitable for the recruiting firm, I am not convinced that such a trend will assist sellers' benefits
as well
as costumers' convenience and validity due to what I have mentioned.
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IELTS essay Companies pay salespeople according to how much they sell to customers. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages both to salespeople and customers?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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