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Internet is much usefull as campare to paper work why

Internet is much usefull as campare to paper work why ljg61
Internet is a planet which is used through an electronice device to make a speedy and comfort and reliable work in publice or private department and even by ordinary person as paper work is more lengthy. Work on internet is an easiest way for the people to do the same with more efficiency and less consumption of time and comfort for transmission of data from one place to another throught computer and mobile phones. The people can also store their material information in the electronic device for long time as they want. On the other hand using paper work is more lengthy and more consumable of time and much expensive and is not safe to store data in one place and also need of hiring the quantity of man power but there is no such need if we use internet to do work in offical and non official department but using internet by youngsters for long time unnecessary is more harmful and affects on their health as same is not in paper work. In conclusion it is my opinion is that work through internet is more useful, easiest, substantiat and reliable, less expensive saving of time as compare to do paper work for people.
Internet is a planet which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
through an
Possible spelling mistake found.
electronice
device to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a speedy and comfort and reliable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
publice
or private department and even by ordinary person as paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is more lengthy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Work
on internet is
Use "the" with the superlative.
an
easiest way for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to do the same with more efficiency and less consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and comfort for transmission of data from one place to another
Possible spelling mistake found.
throught
computer and mobile phones. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
also
store their material information in the electronic device for long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as they want.
On the other hand
using paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is more lengthy and more consumable of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and much expensive and is not safe to store data in one place and
also
need of hiring the quantity of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
power
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there is no such need if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
internet to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
offical
and
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non official
department
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
using internet by youngsters for long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
unnecessary is more harmful and affects on their health as same is not in paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. In
The comma is probably missing here: "conclusion, it".
conclusion it
is my opinion is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
through internet is more useful, easiest,
Possible spelling mistake found.
substantiat
and reliable, less expensive saving of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as compare to do paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
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IELTS essay Internet is much usefull as campare to paper work why

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
204 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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