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community services, and it benefits

community services, and it benefits ok9bK
Community services are the most helpful, and neglected services in almost all countries. Many people opine that, schools must include community services in their curricula program, which in my opinion this is most meaningful idea to be added. Students sharing, and helping in a charity for example have many benefits on the community, and personal level. Raising a child on the basics of helping others, will bring him many benefits on the personal level. Students will grow up more friendly, thus this will lead to the development of the humanity spirit, thus a more individuals will be more caring. Students will learn a proper strategy to deal with people, or with obstacles, thus a more life experienced children will grow up. Moreover, they will learn the basics of life, and that helping of offering help is a trait of the rich. On the same trend, students engagement in social services will help in building a well developed community. They will be learned the true of meaning of love to help, they will be helping each others, achieving their goals. A community of which money isn't the major need to ask for will be created, they will learn to offer help, work for free. There are major benefits behind engaging students in community services on many different levels. In my opinion, growth of a country is highly dependent on the beliefs, and way of thinking of it's upcoming generations.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
are the most helpful, and neglected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
in almost all countries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opine that, schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
in their curricula program, which in my opinion this is
Did you mean "the most"?
most
meaningful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
sharing, and helping in a charity
for example
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
, and personal level.

Raising a child on the basics of helping others, will bring him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits on the personal level.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
will grow up more friendly,
thus
this will lead to the development of the humanity spirit,
thus
a more individuals will be more caring.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
will learn a proper strategy to deal with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, or with obstacles,
thus
a more life experienced children will grow up.
Moreover
, they will learn the basics of life, and that helping of offering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
is a trait of the rich.

On the same trend,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
engagement in social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in building a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. They will
be learned
the true of meaning of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
, they will be helping each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "other"?
others
, achieving their goals. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
of which money isn't the major need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
will
be created
, they will learn to offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
, work for free.

There are major benefits behind engaging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
levels. In my opinion, growth of a country is
highly
dependent on the beliefs, and way of thinking of
Did you mean "its upcoming generations"?
it's upcoming generations
.
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IELTS essay community services, and it benefits

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
238 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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