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Communication between employers and workers is the most important factor. Other people say that other factors are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Communication between employers and workers is the most important factor. Other people say that other factors are more important. 0wbrG
Relationship between managers and employees has always been a core function of an effective workplace. While people’s opinions differ as to whether communication should be the key characteristic in shaping that environment, there is a strong case to be made for both sides of the debate. On the one hand, there are several reasons why people might argue that there are other contributing factors to an organization's success that can be more essential. Firstly, the reliability of good workers has been conclusively linked to the company’s prosperity. For instance, if workers do not obey the provision of a corporation, they can leak data to its competitors and cause a serious setback for the company. Secondly, the respect between employers and their workers should be the case. It would simply be utterly pointless if the administrator does not care about the feelings and situation of employees and just thoughtlessly force them to work as this can cause adverse effects when workers can quit their job. On the other hand, I support the view that communication has an important role to play in the success of a business. Those who argue that contact in office is not as important as other aspects might have totally missed the point that it is not only maximising profit that is the sole aim of a company but also the communication between colleagues. When workers and managers have conversation, they can form deep and lasting bonds with each other - relatively the understanding of personality, which can later help them figure out the best way to finish their work. Moreover, as employees and company bosses have speech, this can break the outdated differences in level and create an equally enjoyable workplace for everyone. In conclusion, I believe that communication between managers and workers is an important factor in the workplace. However, in order to enhance the effectiveness, an organization also needs to seek for reliable workers.
Relationship between managers and employees has always been a core function of an effective workplace. While
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s opinions differ
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
should be the key characteristic in shaping that environment, there is a strong case to
be made
for both sides of the debate.

On the one hand, there are several reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might argue that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
contributing factors to an organization's success that can be more essential.
Firstly
, the reliability of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
has been
conclusively
linked to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company’s
prosperity.
For instance
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
do not obey the provision of a corporation, they can leak data to its competitors and cause a serious setback for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
Secondly
, the respect between employers and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
should be the case. It would
simply
be
utterly
pointless if the administrator does not care about the feelings and situation of employees and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
thoughtlessly
force them to work as this can cause adverse effects when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
can quit their job.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, I support the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
has an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role to play in the success of a business. Those who argue that contact in office is not as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
aspects might have
totally
missed the point that it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Possible spelling mistake. 'maximising' is British English.
maximising
profit
that is
the sole aim of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
between colleagues. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
and managers have conversation, they can form deep and lasting bonds with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
relatively
the understanding of personality, which can later
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them figure out the best way to finish their work.
Moreover
, as employees and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
bosses have speech, this can break the outdated differences in level and create an
equally
enjoyable workplace for everyone.

In conclusion
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
between managers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor in the workplace.
However
, in order to enhance the effectiveness, an organization
also
needs to seek for reliable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
.
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IELTS essay Communication between employers and workers is the most important factor. Other people say that other factors are more important.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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