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The moment I got to my mom’s place. "Anh, what happened to your face? " my mother screamed in the middle of the school, after noticing a reddened spot on my right cheek as if someone had touched me. "I’m sorry, " I said, trembling and unable to communicate since the intense environment nearly devoured my body. Regarding my words, everything just happens all of a sudden I've been able to witness all of the individual people around me misfiring since I was a youngster. It would be a significant influence on my thinking, allowing my personality to switch from time to time into a person who did not want to step forward outside of the safe zone which I had established for myself. That day, I was having a heated argument with a classmate about how I didn't execute my job as professionally as I should have, causing the team to lose in the second place, which led others mad, losing control of me. The unexpected emotion I feel for my mother. The fact that she was immediately concerned as soon as she saw my bruise. As a daughter, I could tell my mother was upset from the minute she told my homeroom teacher about the situation and my behavior in class. Seeing someone I care about upset is akin to feeling like a failure in life. To avoid disappointing my mother, I understood I needed to be tough and compete for my own future. Accepting the fact that, as an imperfect person, everyone gets stranded on their route to their objective at some point in their lives, and I am no exception. Failing at something in life would be a problem since it would prevent me from ascending the ladder to success, but life goes on without pause. Far from other children, I was able to establish my place in society, allowing me to stand on my own two feet and withstand the battle that I had been through. As if I were reincarnated into a different person, I will continue my quest to attain my life's objective. Then I met Amy, a girl who was a self-assured individual when I spent my spare time sharpening my soft skills with an acquaintance, engaging in small extracurricular activities such as helping on clean-up days or providing clothes to those who were struggling financially. We had such a good time talking about what was going on in the world. She's taught me a lot about how to trust in myself more based on her experiences. I can assure that after our conversation, I accepted the fact that life would treat me in the ways I desired in terms of fear of being slop, and that because I have the courage and willingness to take risks, I will not miss any opportunity to further my life goals, similar to doing my best in school. I frequently found myself in the center of a group discussion about a topic that piqued my interest apart from the previous situation. While discussing a system that distributes money to everyone has stopped me from conducting the study, as if I was able to firmly react to any favorable information as if my knowledge basket had already been depleted. I got more confidence in my abilities in class as I learned more about various topics. Regardless of what others say, being myself would be far more beneficial to me if I was confident in who I am and what I am capable of. Rather than being afraid of failing, I set out to establish my objective, a new string of streams in my life. I'm eager to learn and experience. It is more important to create oneself than it is to discover yourself in life. In life, everything revolves around self-creation.
The moment I
got
to my mom’s place.
"
Anh
, what happened to your face?
"
my
mother
screamed in the middle of the school, after noticing a reddened spot on my right cheek as if someone had touched me.
"
I’m sorry,
"
I said, trembling and unable to communicate since the intense environment
nearly
devoured my body. Regarding my words, everything
just
happens all of a sudden

I've been able to witness
all of the
individual
people
around me misfiring since I was a youngster. It would be a significant influence on my thinking, allowing my personality to switch from
time
to
time
into a person
who
did not want to step forward
outside of
the safe zone which I had established for myself. That day, I was having a heated argument with a classmate about how I didn't execute my job as
professionally
as I should have, causing the team to lose in the second place, which led others mad, losing control of me.

The unexpected emotion I feel for my
mother
. The fact that she was immediately concerned as
soon
as she
saw
my bruise. As a daughter, I could
tell
my
mother
was upset
from the minute she
told
my homeroom teacher about the situation and my behavior in
class
. Seeing someone I care about upset is akin to feeling like a failure in
life
. To avoid disappointing my
mother
, I understood I needed to be tough and compete for my
own
future. Accepting the fact that, as an imperfect person, everyone
gets
stranded on their route to their objective at
some
point in their
lives
, and I am no exception. Failing at something in
life
would be a problem since it would
prevent
me from ascending the ladder to success,
but
life
goes on without pause. Far from other children, I was able to establish my place in society, allowing me to stand on my
own
two feet and withstand the battle that I had been through. As if I
were reincarnated
into a
different
person, I will continue my quest to attain my life's objective.

Then I met Amy, a girl
who
was a self-assured individual when I spent my spare
time
sharpening my soft
skills
with an acquaintance, engaging in
small
extracurricular activities such as helping on clean-up days or providing clothes to those
who
were struggling
financially
. We had such a
good
time
talking about what was going on in the world. She's taught me a lot about how to trust in myself more based on her experiences. I can assure that after our conversation, I
accepted
the fact that
life
would treat me in the ways I desired in terms of fear of being slop, and that
because
I have the courage and willingness to take
risks
, I will not miss any opportunity to
further
my
life
goals, similar to doing my best in school.

I
frequently
found myself in the center of a group discussion about a topic that piqued my interest apart from the previous situation. While discussing a system that distributes money to everyone has
stopped
me from conducting the study, as if I was able to
firmly
react to any favorable information as if my knowledge basket had already
been depleted
. I
got
more confidence in my abilities in
class
as I learned more about various topics. Regardless of what others say, being myself would be far more beneficial to me if I was confident in
who
I am and what I am capable of.
Rather
than being afraid of failing, I set out to establish my objective, a new string of streams in my
life
. I'm eager to learn and experience.

It is more
important
to create oneself than it is to discover yourself in
life
. In
life
, everything revolves around self-creation.
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IELTS essay common app for application

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
635 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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