Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

COINS AND PAPER MONEY WILL SOON BE REPLACE BY CREDIT AND BANK CARDS. DO YOU AGREE THAT EVENTUALLY WE WLL HAV A CASHLESS SOCIETY HICH WILL BE SAFER AND MORE CONVENIENT FOR EVERYONE?

COINS AND PAPER MONEY WILL SOON BE REPLACE BY CREDIT AND BANK CARDS. DO YOU AGREE THAT EVENTUALLY WE WLL HAV A CASHLESS SOCIETY HICH WILL BE SAFER AND MORE CONVENIENT FOR EVERYONE? 01Ln
It is often said that credit and atm cards will supersede the use of traditional banknotes and coins. I believe that this development will lead to a cashless society which will be advantageous for everyone. Notably, the increasing number of online shopping platforms allow consumers to participate in the online commerce. With this, many ways to pay, aside from cash are arising. For instance, Lazada and Shoppee offer customers wide range of payments from cash to credit and debit cards as well as digital payments. Therefore, people can have the ordered items at the doorstep without worrying to personally pay in cash to the courier. Moreover, fastest growing malls have made transactions easier at the checkout counter by using cards. This includes stores from clothes to appliances and food to medicines. Store accepting cards allows people to pay transactions even in the absence of cash in just one swipe or dip. Bank cards has now upgraded and have made transactions quicker than ever through the help of paywave feature. As a result, it provides convenience and hassle free from ques in atm withdrawals. Online and physical stores have started to use digital wallets. Modern monetary exchange such as Gcash, Paypal, Paymaya, Wechat, Alipay and Grabpay are quite helpful and safer. It does not require a lot of requirements to open an account. Hence, MPIN and OTP (one time password) is needed to log in and access its features, users are assured that their money and transactions are safe. This system would enable governments to track and record every transaction, leaving no loopholes for fraudsters to exploit thereby stimulating economic growth. To recapitulate, coins and bills are still usefull in the economy, however, we cannot disclose the fact that technological advancements will continue to grow and improve the banking system. The use of bank cards and continuous upgrade of digital wallet will definitely lead to a safer and more convenient cashless system in which the whole society will benefit.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that credit and
Possible spelling mistake found.
atm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
will supersede the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of traditional banknotes and coins. I believe that this development will lead to a cashless society which will be advantageous for everyone.

Notably
, the increasing number of online shopping platforms
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
consumers to participate in the online commerce. With this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways to pay, aside from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cash
are arising.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lazada
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shoppee
offer customers wide range of payments from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cash
to credit and debit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
as well
as digital payments.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can have the ordered items at the doorstep without worrying to
personally
pay in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cash
to the courier.

Moreover
,
A determiner is probably missing here: "the fastest".
fastest
growing malls have made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transactions
easier at the checkout counter by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
. This includes stores from clothes to appliances and food to medicines. Store accepting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transactions
even in the absence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cash
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one swipe or dip. Bank
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
upgraded and have made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transactions
quicker than ever through the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
paywave
feature.
As a result
, it provides convenience and hassle free from ques in
Possible spelling mistake found.
atm
withdrawals.

Online and physical stores have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
digital wallets. Modern monetary exchange such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Gcash
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Paypal
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Paymaya
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Wechat
, Alipay and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Grabpay
are quite helpful and safer. It does not require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
requirements to open an account.
Hence
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
MPIN
and OTP (one time password)
is needed
to log in and access its features, users
are assured
that their money and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transactions
are safe. This system would enable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
and record every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transaction
, leaving no loopholes for fraudsters to exploit thereby stimulating economic growth.

To recapitulate, coins and bills are
still
Possible spelling mistake found.
usefull
in the economy,
however
, we cannot disclose the fact that technological advancements will continue to grow and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the banking system. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of bank
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
and continuous upgrade of digital wallet will definitely lead to a safer and more convenient cashless system in which the whole society will benefit.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay COINS AND PAPER MONEY WILL SOON BE REPLACE BY CREDIT AND BANK CARDS. DO YOU AGREE THAT EVENTUALLY WE WLL HAV A CASHLESS SOCIETY HICH WILL BE SAFER AND MORE CONVENIENT FOR EVERYONE?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
328 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts