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Benefits of using computers and technologies

Benefits of using computers and technologies Xyrjr
Psychological scientists suggest that in today's modern societies young children prefer to spend most of their days with computers. Furthermore, this desire constantly remains during the whole childhood. in this article, with the help of some recent studies, the benefits and determines of this new phenomenon will be reviewed. Firstly, many people believe that computers can be harmful for the body's health, psychologically and physically. Especially when it comes to young adult the impact can be more serious as they are easy to be affected. Despite of this opinion, technology is used for solving lots of educational problem both at school and by students themselves. for instance dyslexia used to be an extremely major problem that effects lots of aspects of one's life. Nowadays it can be cured by only some software programs which are accessible for anyone who has a smartphone or a PC. We owe the technology that it is not a complex disabling problem anymore. Furthermore, although parents mostly concerned about the eye health of their kids, studies reveal that using too much PC or other digital tools cannot have a long-term impact. In fact the dry eye disease which is experienced by people who put their eyes under a variety of pressure, such as who works too hard, is temporary. A study which has published by the Cambridge University in 1999 illustrated that 30% of population catch dry eyes once or twice in their life regardless from the amount of time they use for looking at their smartphones. Fortunately this problem can be cured by itself, so it seems that's the main caregivers should not let themselves feel worried about this too much. In conclusion modern digital tools have been considered to be more detrimental then they truly are so although the time of usage should be managed by parents in order to avoid wasting lots of time, they can be quiet beneficial for children who especially who have a specific difficulties. In fact this devices can assist them to reach a more productive life.
Psychological scientists suggest that in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's modern societies young children prefer to spend most of their days with computers.
Furthermore
, this desire
constantly
remains during the whole childhood.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
this article, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
recent studies, the benefits and determines of this new phenomenon will
be reviewed
.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that computers can be harmful for the body's health,
psychologically
and
physically
.
Especially
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to young adult the impact can be more serious as they are easy to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
.
Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
this opinion, technology is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for solving lots of educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
both at school and by students themselves.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance dyslexia
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be an
extremely
major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
that effects lots of aspects of one's life. Nowadays it can
be cured
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
software programs which are accessible for anyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has a smartphone or a PC. We owe the technology that it is not a complex disabling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
anymore.

Furthermore
, although parents
mostly
concerned about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eye
health of their kids, studies reveal that using too much PC or other digital tools cannot have a long-term impact. In fact the dry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eye
disease which
is experienced
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
put their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eyes
under a variety of pressure, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
works too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
, is temporary. A study which has published by the Cambridge University in 1999 illustrated that 30% of population catch dry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eyes
once or twice in their life regardless from the amount of time they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for looking at their smartphones.
Fortunately
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
can
be cured
by itself,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it seems that's the main caregivers should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
themselves feel worried about this too much.

In conclusion
modern digital tools have
been considered
to be more detrimental
Did you mean "than"?
then
they
truly
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
although the time of usage should
be managed
by parents in order to avoid wasting lots of time, they can be
Did you mean "quite"? 'quiet' means 'silent', 'quite' mean 'very' or 'to a moderate extent'
quiet
beneficial for children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have a specific
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "difficulty"?
difficulties
. In fact
Did you mean "these"?
this
devices can assist them to reach a more productive life.
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IELTS essay Benefits of using computers and technologies

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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