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Classical songs as well as drama are replaced by modern fusion music nowadays.

Classical songs as well as drama are replaced by modern fusion music nowadays. A few number of young are prefer to enjoy these traditional music or drama in several countries. Day by day these traditional cultures are being dying out due to globlized world and availability of modern entertainments. First it should say todays young people spend more time on netflix, youtube and webseries rather than watching classical drama or play. As they get advance technology and a huge variety of foreign or modern movie, series, music are available in internet they are unwilling to promote traditinal entertainments. Eventhough most of the young people dont know about their traditional music or drama. They much more prefer English movie, songs, concerts, series rather than those. In other words little number of young people have interest to watch these. They love to watch their traditional song, dance, drama, movie at the same time. Day by day the traditional entertainment are being replaced by rock music and lossing their appeal as netflix youtube engulfed their place dramatically. Another issue is that its an alarming news for a culture because the traditional culture wont be practised by next generation. Despite globalized world gives us the opportunity to familiar with other culture but its our duty to keep our traditional resources and practice it. Todays young generation should give priority eqally their own culture and others. As a result they will become an enlightened generation which is real necessity of a country. Besides school, college, university and family have the responsiblity to encourage them to participate the classical music concerts and drama as well. For instance, classical drama or dance should be arranged in family program or university occasions, it might influence the youngstar to practice it. In addition, older family member can motivate young people that these classical drama may enrich their knowledge and thinking. Family, other social institution can explain them the necessity of traditional enertainment for their nation as well as country. To sum up to make an enlightened and dynamic generation young should practice the traditional culture because they will lead the country in future and they have the responsiblity to represent their homeland. Comments:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Classical
songs
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drama
are replaced
by modern fusion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
nowadays. A few number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
are
Consider using either the past participle “preferred” or the present participle “preferring” here.
prefer
to enjoy these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drama
in several countries. Day by day these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
are being dying out due to
Possible spelling mistake found.
globlized
world and availability of modern entertainments.

First
it should say
It seems that a possessive apostrophe is missing.
todays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend more time on
Possible spelling mistake found.
netflix
,
The official name of this popular video platform is spelled with a capital “T”.
youtube
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
webseries
rather
than watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drama
or play. As they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
advance technology and a huge variety of foreign or modern movie, series,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
are available in internet they are unwilling to promote
Possible spelling mistake found.
traditinal
entertainments.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Eventhough
most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found
dont
know about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drama
. They much more prefer English movie, songs, concerts, series
rather
than those. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have interest to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
these. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
song, dance,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drama
, movie at the same time. Day by day the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
entertainment are
being replaced
by rock
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
lossing
their appeal as
Possible spelling mistake found.
netflix
The official name of this popular video platform is spelled with a capital “T”.
youtube
engulfed their place
dramatically
.

Another issue is that
Did you mean “it’s” (short for ‘it is’) instead of ‘its’ (possessive pronoun)?
its
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply “alarming news”.
an alarming news
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
Please make sure you mean ‘wont’ (a habit), not “won’t”/“won’t” (short for ‘will not’)?
wont
be
Possible spelling mistake. ‘practised’ is British English.
practised
by
next
generation. Despite globalized world gives us the opportunity to familiar with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Did you mean “it’s” (short for ‘it is’) instead of ‘its’ (possessive pronoun)?
its
our duty to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
resources and practice it.
It seems that a possessive apostrophe is missing.
Todays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation should give priority
Possible spelling mistake found.
eqally
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result they will become an enlightened generation which is real necessity of a country.
Besides
school, college, university and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
have the
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsiblity
to encourage them to participate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
concerts and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drama
as well
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drama
or dance should
be arranged
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
program or university occasions, it might influence the
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngstar
to practice it.
In addition
, older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
member can motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drama
may enrich their knowledge and thinking.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Family
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
social institution can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
The verb ‘to explain something to someone’ requires a preposition.
them
the necessity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
Possible spelling mistake found.
enertainment
for their nation
as well
as country.

To sum up to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an enlightened and dynamic generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
should practice the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will lead the country in
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
future and
they have the
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsiblity
to represent their homeland.

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IELTS essay Classical songs as well as drama are replaced by modern fusion music nowadays.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
364 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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