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City planners’ new designs include setting up schools, markets and commercial places (like offices) in different areas of the city. Do you think it will help the city dwellers?

City planners’ new designs include setting up schools, markets and commercial places (like offices) in different areas of the city. Do you think it will help the city dwellers? xRb1
It is considered that now days the city planners making new design for the cities in which the educational institutions, shopping sites and commercial places will be allotted different places in the city. In my opinion, it will help people those are living in cities. The primary reason is that if the cities will be designed properly and space provided according to the type of work then it will help to reduce the congestion in the cities due to which many major cities in the world are suffering. If the schools will be at their right place, then students can easily focus on their studies without facing any outer disturbance. Whereas, if all the premises of different purposes will be built at same place, then it will make the whole place very unorganized and it will get more difficult for people to find address of the right place. Moreover, if the space distribution of the city will be unequal and this will be the main hindrance to develop all parts of the city in order to make it smarter. People will live in small apartments or house with narrow streets. It will be very difficult re-structure the whole city again because till that time lot of investment already was done by many people set up their businesses or houses. In conclusion, it is better to set up a proper design for the cities so that everything should be placed at right area this way the space distribution will be equally allocated, whereas this way there will be less congestion in cities.
It
is considered
that
now
days the city planners making new design for the
cities
in which the educational institutions, shopping sites and commercial
places
will
be allotted
different
places
in the city. In my opinion, it will
help
people
those are living in cities.

The primary reason is that if the
cities
will
be designed
properly
and space provided according to the type of work then it will
help
to
reduce
the congestion in the
cities
due to which
many
major
cities
in the world are suffering. If the schools will be at their right
place
, then students can
easily
focus on their studies without facing any outer disturbance. Whereas, if all the premises of
different
purposes will
be built
at same
place
, then it will
make
the whole
place
very
unorganized and it will
get
more difficult for
people
to find address of the right place.

Moreover
, if the space distribution of the city will be unequal and this will be the main hindrance to develop all parts of the city in order to
make
it smarter.
People
will
live
in
small
apartments or
house
with narrow streets. It will be
very
difficult re-structure the whole city again
because
till that time lot of investment already
was done
by
many
people
set up their businesses or
houses
.

In conclusion
, it is better to set up a proper design for the
cities
so
that everything should
be placed
at right area this way the space distribution will be
equally
allocated, whereas this way there will be less congestion in
cities
.
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IELTS essay City planners’ new designs include setting up schools, markets and commercial places (like offices) in different areas of the city. Do you think it will help the city dwellers?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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