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Cities are overcrowded now

Cities are overcrowded now p5Y03
Nowadays, the number of people in metro-cities is increasing gradually. We are discussed both significant causes and solution further in essay. The first and significant causes of this issue is unemployment in countryside. There is not enough way to work and earn good money, so this a big reason why people are migrated to cities. However, with the help of government and local businessman, it can be minimized. For example, if government provide them skills and funds so they can start their own shop or small workshop, beside of this, businessman can make investment to export products of villagers to cities or even to other countries. The second major reason of population growth in urban is lack of Higher education system in village or small town. Students who want to study the advance subjects, those subjects are available in their village. Due to this, they have to move towards the metropolitan’s cities. This issue can be overcome by constructing good education system in small town or cities. For insane, Government or private sector can arrange advance subjects’ faculties online, so teachers can teach students, who are willing to study advance topic or subjects, without going out of their villages. In conclusion, both Unemployment and Lack of higher education system in small town and villages are playing significant role in urbanization. Whereas, solutions which are mentioned along with their reasons are extremely effective. Despite the fact, it will take a while but if the people of villages and small cities workout together with government bodies then this issue can be resolved soon.
Nowadays, the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in metro-cities is increasing
gradually
. We
are discussed
both significant causes and solution
further
in essay.

The
first
and significant causes of this issue is unemployment in countryside. There is not
Please check whether an article is missing: "a enough".
enough
way to work and earn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
money,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
reason why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are migrated
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
However
, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and local businessman, it can
be minimized
.
For example
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
provide them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and funds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
shop or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
workshop, beside of this, businessman can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
investment to export products of villagers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
or even to other countries.

The second major reason of population growth in urban is lack of Higher education system in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
town. Students who want to study the advance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are available in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
. Due to this, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
towards the metropolitan’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. This issue can
be overcome
by constructing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
education system in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
town or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. For insane,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
or private sector can arrange advance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects’
faculties online,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
teachers can teach students, who are willing to study advance topic or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, without going out of their villages.

In conclusion
, both Unemployment and Lack of higher education system in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
town and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
are playing significant role in urbanization.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, solutions which
are mentioned
along with their reasons are
extremely
effective. Despite the fact, it will take a while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "cities'" or "city's"?
cities
workout together with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
bodies then this issue can
be resolved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.
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IELTS essay Cities are overcrowded now

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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