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A large industrial township is planned near your town. Would you support or oppose this plan? Discuss with reasons and examples.

A large industrial township is planned near your town. Would you support or oppose this plan? Discuss with reasons and examples. mX7xL
Townships are usually mini cities on the outskirts of the big cities. It offer all the necessary facilities like housing, education, health care, work place, shopping. I really don't like building large townships in my village because, though it has lot's of advantages it disturbed our towns natural, peaceful and calm environment. But it could benefit many people in our town by offering employment opportunities to many people in the town, it improve transport and infrastructure, it promote water facilities, health and education facilities can also improve. If we buy a flat in the township it might be more advantageous and we can happily enjoy all the facilities out there. But the cost of flat in a town is 10-15% higher than a flat in the apartment. At the end of the month the billing will be higher in the township. We should also pay maintenance charges in a township which is also more costlier. But the security in a township is an added advantage for the persons who have younger children and older people at homes. There will be enhanced lifestyle in a township with all the available facilities. Better return of investment also available more easily in a township. Apart from high expensive it is good to have a flat in township. But, I personally oppose township in our town because, it distrub our environment. Construction takes a long time which will add noise and air pollution and cutting down trees for township construction can lead to global warming. Affects people health in the town, so I oppose industrial township construction. Since my childhood I was living here, so I don't want some construction to disturb our routine peaceful environment.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Townships
are
usually
mini cities on the outskirts of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities. It
Did you mean "offers"?
offer
all the necessary facilities like housing, education, health care, work place, shopping. I
really
don't like building large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
townships
in my village
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, though it has
Did you mean "lots"?
lot's
of advantages it disturbed our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
natural, peaceful and calm environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it could benefit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
by offering employment opportunities to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
, it
Did you mean "improves"?
improve
transport and infrastructure, it
Did you mean "promotes"?
promote
water facilities, health and education facilities can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
. If we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flat
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
township
it might be more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
advantageous and
we can
happily
enjoy all the facilities out there.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flat
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
is 10-15% higher than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flat
in the apartment. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the month the billing will be higher in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
township
. We should
also
pay maintenance charges in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
township
which is
also
Use only "costlier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more costlier
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the security in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
township
is an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
advantage for the persons who have younger children and older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
at homes. There will
be enhanced
lifestyle in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
township
with all the available facilities. Better return of investment
also
available more
easily
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
township
. Apart from high expensive it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flat
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
township
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, I
personally
oppose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
township
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, it
Possible spelling mistake found.
distrub
our environment.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Construction
takes a long time which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
noise and air pollution and cutting down trees for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
township
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
can lead to global warming. Affects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
health in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I oppose industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
township
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
. Since my childhood I was living here,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I don't want
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
to disturb our routine peaceful environment.

IELTS essay A large industrial township is planned near your town. Would you support or oppose this plan? Discuss with reasons and examples.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
282 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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