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Children's health is increasingly deteriorating by fatness in all around the world. which is the great concern in society. there are number of reason after this situation. oversitting and consuming unhealty food are the reasons for this which i will discuss in further paragraph that how children can be prevent from obesity.

Children's health is increasingly deteriorating by fatness in all around the world. which is the great concern in society. there are number of reason after this situation. oversitting and consuming unhealty food are the reasons for this which i will discuss in further paragraph that how children can be prevent from obesity. 2a1Nk
To begin with, as every child tends to eat junk food in their daily life whether a child is inside the house or oustside. the main reason behind this is the hectic schdule of their parents. Parents hardly spend time with children because of long hour duty so they can not pay attention on their child's diet which leads to children toward unhealthy food just because of its availability in the corner of every street and it is affordable to buy. moreover the lack of exercise is the second reason of obesity. Children spend their quality of time on computer and mobile phone their enthuciasm toward the outdoor sport activities has totally lost. As per my opinion it is the responsibility of both parents and government. Parents should manage time to spend with their children to teach them what is right or wrong for them and to restrict them from unproductive things. As well as Government should increase the tax in those items which affect the health of any individual even more schools should add an extra subject to invite the children in the sports which helps to burn the unwanted callories and give mascular shape to their body. To conclude, Although it is long time process to get people in normal health but if everyone takes it serious as soon as possible then this problem might be solved very soon.
To
begin
with, as every child tends to eat junk food in their daily life whether a child is inside the
house
or
oustside
.
the
main reason behind this is the hectic
schdule
of their
parents
.
Parents
hardly spend
time
with
children
because
of long hour duty
so
they can not pay attention on their child's diet which leads to
children
toward unhealthy food
just
because
of its availability in the corner of every street and it is affordable to
buy
.
moreover
the lack of exercise is the second reason of obesity.
Children
spend their quality of
time
on computer and mobile phone their
enthuciasm
toward the outdoor sport activities has
totally
lost.

As per my opinion it is the responsibility of both
parents
and
government
.
Parents
should manage
time
to spend with their
children
to teach them what is right or
wrong
for them and to restrict them from unproductive things.
As well
as
Government
should increase the tax in those items which affect the health of any individual even more schools should
add
an extra subject to invite the
children
in the sports which
helps
to burn the unwanted
callories
and give
mascular
shape to their body.

To conclude
, Although it is long
time
process to
get
people
in normal health
but
if everyone takes it serious as
soon
as possible
then
this problem might
be solved
very
soon
.
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IELTS essay Children's health is increasingly deteriorating by fatness in all around the world. which is the great concern in society. there are number of reason after this situation. oversitting and consuming unhealty food are the reasons for this which i will discuss in further paragraph that how children can be prevent from obesity.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
231 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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