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Research into new types of medicine and treatments are essential for improving health and deal with diseases. Who do you think should fund these researches: private companies, individuals or governments? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Research into new types of medicine and treatments are essential for improving health and deal with diseases. Who do you think should fund these researches: private companies, individuals or governments? KwoML
Nowadays, with the development of morden medicine and treatments, more people get the chance to keep health and heal from heavy diseases, researches also show its importance in the whole progress. While, it is a complex problem that who should take the responsibilty of fund these researches. From my perspective, the government should hold this obligation, compared with private companies and individuals. First of all, it is obvious that research of medical ask for a great number of funds, which is not suitable for individuals. Also, stable invest are needed in the long term of research, whereas, the private companies could meet many potential crisis, leading to break the research’s process. Although, many private companies have a positive attitude about the big profits of medicine or treatments, which encourage them to join it, it would be terrible if they pose a threaten to the prices of those services, escepially for the lower class, because of profits-oreanted. Therefore, the safety and sustainable acquirements are not appropriate to those two sides. For governments, the ability of widely collect top resources is the biggest advantage of address it. For instance, professional researchers, sustainable funds, international cooperation and so forth. In addition, government have the relevant policy of social system, like medical insurances, which is convenient to directly translate those achievementes into reality, and finally help citizens more fast. To sum up, the private companies and individuals have their helpfulness in this realm, but governments would take it more safe and lasting.
Nowadays, with the development of
Possible spelling mistake found.
morden
medicine and treatments, more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
health and heal from heavy diseases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researches
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
its importance in the whole progress.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, it is a complex problem that who should take the
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsibilty
of fund these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researches
. From my perspective, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should hold this obligation, compared with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and individuals.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
of medical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
a great number of funds, which is not suitable for individuals.
Also
, stable invest
are needed
in the long term of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
, whereas, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
potential crisis, leading to break the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research’s
process. Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attitude about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
profits of medicine or treatments, which encourage them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
it, it would be terrible if they pose
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'threaten' is correct. If 'threaten' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a threaten
to the prices of those services,
Possible spelling mistake found.
escepially
for the lower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
profits-oreanted
.
Therefore
, the safety and sustainable
Possible spelling mistake found.
acquirements
are not appropriate to those two sides.

For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
, the ability of
widely
collect top resources is the biggest advantage of address it.
For instance
, professional researchers, sustainable funds, international cooperation and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
have the relevant policy of social system, like medical insurances, which is convenient to
directly
translate those
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "achievements", the plural form of the noun 'achievement'?
achievementes
into reality, and
finally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
citizens more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
.

To sum up, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and individuals have their helpfulness in this realm,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
would take it more safe and lasting.
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IELTS essay Research into new types of medicine and treatments are essential for improving health and deal with diseases. Who do you think should fund these researches: private companies, individuals or governments?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
248 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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