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children today spend more time watching television than they did in the past. Describe some of the advantages and disadvantages of television for children

children today spend more time watching television than they did in the past. Describe some of the advantages and disadvantages of television for children 8YVk
This essay argues that children spend more time on watching TV in compare with years ago. I think this is a very controversial topic and there are some downsides and positives sides to discuss here. There are variety of entertainment shows and cartoons suitable for children with different age, which has made it very difficult to be avoided. In my opinion, sitting and watching TV more than it is necessary, can cause serious health problems such as obesity and diabetes. In past children tend to play outdoors more often, which that help them to be more active during the day, but now with all interesting and excitement shows it is hard for children to not consider watching them all. Another disadvantage of this issue is that children hardly can learn how to interact or socialize with other kids in their age and I personally think that can have a very destructive impact on their lives. Nowadays, children prefer to play with computers or online with an imaginary friend, so they cannot experience of real people in real situations. As a result, when they get older, they found it very difficult to have a simple talk with for example a girl in their class at school. I also believe, there are some good sides as well. There are loads of different educational shows that parents can provide for their children to watch daily for instance, I am sure there are some great shows for children that teach them informative things like, how to wash their hands or how to brush their teeth. All in all, I think parents have very vital responsibilities to control the average of watching TV. To me balancing is the key for success, children need to learn how to make balance in their habits. By applying it, I am sure they can have a healthier and happier life.
This essay argues that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend more time on watching TV in compare with years ago. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
controversial topic and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
downsides and positives sides to discuss here. There are variety of entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
and cartoons suitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
age, which has made it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to
be avoided
.

In my opinion, sitting and watching TV more than it is necessary, can cause serious health problems such as obesity and diabetes. In past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
tend to play outdoors more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
, which that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to be more active during the day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
with all interesting and excitement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to not consider watching them all.

Another disadvantage of this issue is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
hardly can learn how to interact or socialize with other kids in their age and I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that can have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
destructive impact on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
prefer to play with computers or online with an imaginary friend,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they cannot experience of real
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in real situations.
As a result
, when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
older, they found it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to have a simple talk with
for example
a girl in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
at school.

I
also
believe, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sides
as well
. There are loads of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
that parents can provide for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
daily
for instance
, I am sure there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that teach them informative things like, how to wash their hands or how to brush their teeth.

All in all, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
parents have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vital responsibilities to control the average of watching TV. To me balancing is the key for success,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need to learn how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
balance in their habits. By applying it, I am sure they can have a healthier and happier life.
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IELTS essay children today spend more time watching television than they did in the past. Describe some of the advantages and disadvantages of television for children

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
311 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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