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Children tend to learn quickly and more efficiently by watching television. Hence, children should watch television regularly both in school and at home. do you agree or disagree with that statement

Children tend to learn quickly and more efficiently by watching television. Hence, children should watch television regularly both in school and at home. GNwLL
Nowadays the use of technology is increased dramatically, such Technology including, mobile phones, television and a great deal larger. By watching television children is being learning quickly and more efficient way. Therefore, the few individual opine that in daily basis, children should watch television in their school and at home then but I believe that it is not best way to learn very quickly. To embark on, yes it is true that children can easily learn through television because nowadays, the channel of television provide Best trick for remember the any difficult word easily. In addition, several episodes are shown about general knowledge also other countrie's event. As a result, children could be more aware about culture and history. However, the significant use of televisions can lead to many disadvantages for children. Based on my knowledge, there are some drawbacks of television. First and foremost, children who watch too much television and do not go outside the home for play therefore, which makes children lazy. children are unaware for which program is better for them so it is directly impact on their career also their behaviour. Last, but not least, children watch continuously one by one programs and they do not stand up from their place. Hence, it could be lead to eye damage. After watching television for a long time, children cannot easily concentrate in their study and whose study could be a burden for them. All in all, I must say television can be good or bad, depending on the personal considerations. But from my point of view, I am strongly believe that there are many other way to learn very well such as, quiz competitions and many more. so, I disagree with this notion that children should watch television regularly.
Nowadays the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of technology
is increased
dramatically
, such Technology including, mobile phones,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and a great deal larger. By watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is being learning
quickly
and more efficient way.
Therefore
, the few individual opine that in daily basis,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
in their school and at home then
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe that it is
A determiner is probably missing here: "not the best".
not best
way to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
quickly
.

To embark on, yes it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
easily
learn through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nowadays, the channel of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
provide Best trick for remember the any difficult word
easily
.
In addition
, several episodes
are shown
about general knowledge
also
other
Possible spelling mistake found.
countrie
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could be more aware about culture and history.
However
, the significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
televisions
can lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages for children.

Based on my knowledge, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
.
First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and do not go outside the home for play
therefore
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
lazy.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
children
are unaware for which program is better for them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
directly
impact on their career
also
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. Last,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
continuously
one by one
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
programs and
they do not stand up from their place.
Hence
, it could be lead to eye damage. After watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
for a long time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
cannot
easily
concentrate in their study and whose study could be a burden for them.

All in all, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
, depending on the personal considerations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
from my point of view, I am
strongly
Consider using a past participle here: "believed".
believe
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other way to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well such as, quiz competitions and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
, I disagree with this notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
regularly
.
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IELTS essay Children tend to learn quickly and more efficiently by watching television. Hence, children should watch television regularly both in school and at home.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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