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Children spend most time on computer games rather than sports what are the reason do you think it is positive or negative development

Children spend most time on computer games rather than sports what are the reason do you think it is positive or negative development lxOlW
It is refutable that, physical activity plays an important role in everyone's life. However, Juvenile spent quality of time to play computer games rather than do sports. I will put all views in forthcoming paragraphs. To begin with, the first and the foremost reason is that due to contemporary technology, they do numerous games on laptop. Due to the fact, adolescents have more knowledge about it. Moreover, the absence of parents, guardians are busy in their work, teenager have no fear any one in addition, they spent more time on computer. To epitome, a recent survey conducted by M. K University shows that 70% teenager spent a lot of time on playing games. On the flip side, there are plenthora of negative affect. Firstly, In this way, they face many health related obstacles such as eyesights, back pain, obesity and consequently on. In Addition, children's behaviour also change. Their imagination power also decrease. To conclude, it is clear that, sports play an instrumental role in every life. Due to the fact, children do not face health problems, physically fit.
It is refutable that, physical activity plays an
important
role in everyone's life.
However
, Juvenile spent quality of time to play computer games
rather
than do sports. I will put all views in forthcoming paragraphs.

To
begin
with, the
first
and the foremost reason is that due to contemporary technology, they do numerous games on laptop. Due to the fact, adolescents have more knowledge about it.
Moreover
, the absence of parents, guardians are busy in their work,
teenager
have no fear
any one
in addition
, they spent more time on computer. To epitome, a recent survey conducted by M. K University
shows
that 70%
teenager
spent
a lot of
time on playing games.

On the flip side, there are
plenthora
of
negative
affect.
Firstly
, In this way, they face
many
health related obstacles such as
eyesights
, back pain, obesity and
consequently
on.
In Addition
, children's
behaviour
also
change
. Their imagination power
also
decrease.

To conclude
, it is
clear
that, sports play an instrumental role in every life. Due to the fact, children do not face health problems,
physically
fit.
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IELTS essay Children spend most time on computer games rather than sports what are the reason do you think it is positive or negative development

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
179 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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