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children should take advice from parents or others discuss both views and give your opinion

In every family, children's obedience to their parents' advice is very ordinary. Some say that children should always follow their parents' suggestions. I find this statement is just appropriate in some situations. On the one hand, there are several reasons that children should obey their parent's counsel. Firstly, children have less experience of life compare with parents. that is way, children sometimes do not know what is right and wrong or what is better for them while the older generations are better at this. A quintessential example is that a child has several new friends, he does not understand much about them, but his parents might know them well and tell him whom he should make friends with. Then, he had better follow this advice. Besides, obeying parents does not only mean doing what they tell, it is honoring older generations as well. They know well about their offspring's behavior and habits. As result, taking advice from parents is one way to show their respect and their love. For instance, a boy wants to go out with his friends, he has his father's permission, whereas his mother forbids him, even though there is nothing to do at home. He can go but he still stays at home just because he respects his parents. In contrast, there are some reasons that children need not always listen to their parents' guidance. The most prime reason is that parents' advice is not always fit. Despite their maturity, sometimes they might not update current trends, therefore, they might be having some wrong opinions about their children's demands. To illustrate, my uncle bans his daughter from making friends with any males. He just wants her to go to school and stay at home studying. He thinks it is the best thing for her but it makes her bored and under great pressure. The last opinion should be mentioned is off-springs' independence which means that they can do anything they want as long as it is legal. When a child can take up a hobby, a university, or a job by himself, this means that he is more mature, and he has responsibility for his whole life. My cousin tended to become a singer while his parents want him to be a doctor. They did many ways to convince him to give up his dream but he tried his best to carry out his dream, as a result, he is now a famous singer. Hence, when their children have their own decision, it illustrates that they are more mature and thoughtful. In conclusion, children should take their parents' counsel to demonstrate their honor and obedience, but when their advice is not reasonable, they can explain to their parents so that they will be understanding and sensible with their aim.
In every family, children's obedience to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
ordinary.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should always follow their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents'
suggestions. I find this statement is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
appropriate in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
situations.

On the one hand, there are several reasons that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should obey their parent's counsel.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have less experience of life compare with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
that
is way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
do not know what is right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
or what is better for them while the older generations are better at this. A quintessential example is that a child has several new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, he does not understand much about them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
might know them well and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
him whom he should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
with. Then, he had better follow this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
.
Besides
, obeying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
mean doing what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
, it is honoring older generations
as well
. They know well about their offspring's behavior and habits. As result, taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is one way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their respect and their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
.
For instance
, a boy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wants
to go out with his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, he has his father's permission, whereas his mother forbids him,
even though
there is nothing to do at home. He can go
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he
still
stays at home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he respects his parents.

In contrast
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need not always listen to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents'
guidance. The most prime reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
is not always fit. Despite their maturity,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they might not update
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
trends,
therefore
, they might be having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
opinions about their children's demands. To illustrate, my uncle bans his daughter from making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
with any males. He
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wants
her to go to school and stay at home studying. He
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
it is the best thing for her
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
her bored and under great pressure. The last opinion should
be mentioned
is off-springs' independence which means that they can do anything they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
as long as it is legal. When a child can take up a hobby, a university, or a job by himself, this means that he is more mature, and he has responsibility for his whole life. My cousin tended to become a singer while his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
him to be a doctor. They did
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways to convince him to give up his dream
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he tried his best to carry out his dream,
as a result
, he is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
singer.
Hence
, when their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decision, it illustrates that they are more mature and thoughtful.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should take their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents'
counsel to demonstrate their honor and obedience,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
is not reasonable, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they will
The verb 'understanding' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
be understanding
and sensible with their aim.
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IELTS essay children should take advice from parents or others discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
463 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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