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are you agree or disagree that children should use computer games?

are you agree or disagree that children should use computer games? 6xKY8
Playing for children is very substantial because they could learn many things by playing, even it's a proper way to teaching children but along with all of the game kinds isn't accepted by councilors and sociologists. One of the common games in between children is computer game. Someones think playing computer games is a waste of time and someones have opposite idea. I think it can have advantage and disadvantages. I will state my idea in follow: Firstly the detrimental effects of destruction computer games on children are most important disadvantages computer hobbies. Some games and applications of computer have improper result for children such as: war games. These games make aggressive and contentious mood for them. Not only these habits are annoying for their family, but also these are perfectly contagious and easily it is distributed among other children who are close relative with. On the other hand, every technology is created with aim service to humanity so and inventing of computer has played significant role in human progress. Even it can be useful for children. For instance, children are encouraged by means of training games and educational help applications more than before. In result teaching space become more appealing and handy for them, including educational application for mathematical which is very common and according my experience is very useful. Consequently, I firmly believe advantage and disadvantage of every technology are related to users invents. Correct using of technologies make which become beneficial and functional, on the other hand, misuse of technology make to become applicable.
Playing for
children
is
very
substantial
because
they could learn
many
things by playing, even it's a proper way to teaching
children
but
along with
all of the
game kinds isn't
accepted
by councilors and sociologists. One of the common
games
in between
children
is computer game. Someones
think
playing computer
games
is a waste of time and someones have opposite
idea
. I
think
it can have advantage and disadvantages. I will state my
idea
in follow:

Firstly
the detrimental effects of destruction computer
games
on
children
are
most
important
disadvantages
computer hobbies.
Some
games
and applications of computer have improper result for
children
such as: war
games
. These
games
make
aggressive and contentious mood for them. Not
only
these habits are annoying for their family,
but
also
these are
perfectly
contagious and
easily
it
is distributed
among other
children
who are close relative with.

On the other hand
, every
technology
is created
with aim service to humanity
so
and inventing of computer has played significant role in human progress. Even it can be useful for
children
.
For instance
,
children
are encouraged
by means of training
games
and educational
help
applications more than
before
. In result teaching space become more appealing and handy for them, including educational application for mathematical which is
very
common and
according my
experience is
very
useful.

Consequently
, I
firmly
believe advantage and disadvantage of every
technology
are related
to users invents.

Correct using of
technologies
make
which become beneficial and functional,
on the other hand
, misuse of
technology
make
to become applicable.
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IELTS essay are you agree or disagree that children should use computer games?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
257 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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