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Children should be allowed to choose subjects to learn at school. Do you agree with this statement?

Children should be allowed to choose subjects to learn at school. yyBd
There is no consensus in society who should choose subjects for pupils. But the majority of the pedagogues and scientists think that should be children. I agree with this statement. Because in my opinion it is very important to know what subjects children would like to study and they must be allowed to choose classes to attend. So I will try to prove you that with examples of Finland school education and professor Jan Danilov's research. The reason why children should be allowed to choose school lessons is that they can take a vector of their professional and intellectual development. For example, pupils in Finland take classes for myself and statistically they are more successful than children from other countries. In the same way Finland education system is one of the best education system in the world and that is the reason why Finnish people often are professionals in their job. So allow children to choose school subjects is a good idea because as a result they become good specialists. The second example why pupils should choose classes for themselves is the Jan Danilov's research from Poland National University. In 1998 professor proved that childrens who studying subjects chosen by themselves are better on 70% than pupils who learning a standart school programm. So that is why enabling children to choose lessons to learn at school is very important. In conclusion I agree with this statement and in my opinion it is necessary to allow pupils to choose classes to attend.
There is no consensus in society who should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the majority of the pedagogues and scientists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that should be
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children
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
in my opinion it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to know what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would like to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
study and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
to attend.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I will try to prove you that with examples of Finland
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school
education and professor Jan
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Danilov
's research.

The reason why
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children
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
lessons is that they can take a vector of their professional and intellectual development.
For example
,
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pupils
in Finland take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
for myself and
statistically
they are more successful than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from other countries.
In the same way
Finland education system is one of the best education system in the world and
that is
the reason why Finnish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
are professionals in their job.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
as a result
they become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
specialists.

The second example why
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pupils
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
for themselves is the Jan
Possible spelling mistake found.
Danilov
's research from Poland National University. In 1998 professor proved that
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
who studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
chosen by themselves are better on 70% than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
who learning a
Possible spelling mistake found.
standart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
Possible spelling mistake found.
programm
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that is
why enabling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
lessons to learn at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

In
The comma is probably missing here: "conclusion, I".
conclusion I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and in my opinion it is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
to attend.
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IELTS essay Children should be allowed to choose subjects to learn at school.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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