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Pool time university student spend most of their time studying they should be doing other activity to do what extent do you agree or disagree

Pool time university student spend most of their time studying they should be doing other activity to do what extent X0bO
Nowadays, all the students learning other skills at a younger age. The students who are doing full-time university study, they should be doing other activities. This essay will explain the importance of other activities, how that will use in their future, it is described in the following paragraphs. To starts with, there are plenty of benefits from other tasks in college. First and foremost, students can learn a various skill such as communication from the debate and hosting. Communication skill is one of the most valuable skills for everyone. If any peoples have it, they can get a job rapidly. For example, big multinational companies take employers from tasting communication because it is a mandatory requirement. Furthermore, extracurricular activities provide knowledge of the real-world and experience. If students do an internship in a similar period of study. That helps in terms of experience, which will count as a plus point for them in work experience manner. they also get information about how to work in Their field and how to control emotion in the workplace. In addition, if students cannot find jobs they can start their own business with their internship knowledge. To conclude, students doing academic study with extra activities, that push students to gain more information about their field and society also. They develop their communication skill and gain experience. That will create an opportunity of jobs as well as business, so doing other activities are reasonable for their future.
Nowadays, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
at a younger age. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
full-time university study, they should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, how that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in their future, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
in the following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of benefits from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
tasks in college.
First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can learn a various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
from the debate and hosting.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
is one of the most valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
for everyone. If any peoples have it, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job
rapidly
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
take employers from tasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a mandatory requirement.

Furthermore
, extracurricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
provide knowledge of the real-world and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do an internship in a similar period of study. That
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
, which will count as a plus point for them in work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
manner.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
information about how to work in Their field and how to control emotion in the workplace.
In addition
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
cannot find jobs they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business with their internship knowledge.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
academic study with extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, that push
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to gain more information about their field and society
also
. They develop their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
and gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. That will create an opportunity of jobs
as well
as business,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are reasonable for their future.
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IELTS essay Pool time university student spend most of their time studying they should be doing other activity to do what extent

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
242 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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