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Children nowadays watch significantly more television than in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. Why is this the case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activity among children?

Children nowadays watch significantly more television than in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. Why is this the case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activity among children? gO97
Many people say that today children and teenagers prefer spending much more of their time in front of the TV screen than ordinary activities which increase their physical development. It happens because modern technologies grab kids' attention through their bright pictures and involve them in different kinds of quizzes. From my point of view, only contemporary free workout zones in each district of the city can make the sport more preferable than digital technologies. Cartoons with the highest level of graffiti design, youth movie shows, and talent shows with complicated plots develop a sort of addiction from our children. Kids forget about friends and lose time management. They do not need to imagine active games with their peers instead they use abstract heroes from television screens as their best friends. If this tendency occurs further, our young generation will face plenty of diseases such as obesity in near future. Reconstruction of existing sport facilities in each yard or district can arouse interest in sports activities and substitute TV programs on helpful and cheerful pastimes. Obviously, all these special sport zones should be free and accessible for each child. For this reason, the government and local youth organizations should propagate the idea of an active way of living and subsidize the projects of rebuilding and creating zones for active movements. To conclude, recently the TV industry has started affecting children negatively and directly influencing their daily activeness. Digital heroes and images replace close friends and physical daily needs and simultaneously lay the foundation for health problems. I tend to the idea of developing special sports playgrounds all over the city which should be supported by officials and local communities and attract children more than TV programs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
prefer spending much more of their time in front of the TV screen than ordinary activities which increase their physical development. It happens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
modern technologies grab kids' attention through their bright pictures and involve them in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of quizzes. From my point of view,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
contemporary free workout zones in each district of the city can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
more preferable than digital technologies.

Cartoons with the highest level of graffiti design, youth movie
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, and talent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
with complicated plots develop a sort of addiction from our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Kids forget about friends and lose time management. They do not need to imagine active games with their peers
instead
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
abstract heroes from television screens as their best friends. If this tendency occurs
further
, our young generation will face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of diseases such as obesity in near future.

Reconstruction of existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
facilities in each yard or district can arouse interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
activities and substitute TV programs on helpful and cheerful pastimes.
Obviously
, all these special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
zones should be free and accessible for each child.
For this reason
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and local youth organizations should propagate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of an active way of living and subsidize the projects of rebuilding and creating zones for active movements.

To conclude
, recently the TV industry has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
affecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
negatively
and
directly
influencing their daily activeness. Digital heroes and images replace close friends and physical daily needs and
simultaneously
lay the foundation for health problems. I tend to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of developing special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
playgrounds all over the city which should
be supported
by officials and local communities and attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
more than TV programs.
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IELTS essay Children nowadays watch significantly more television than in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. Why is this the case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activity among children?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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