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Children nowadays watch significantly more television than in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. Why is this the case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activity among children? v. 2

Children nowadays watch significantly more television than in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. Why is this the case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activity among children? v. 2 BJMpw
These days kids spend considerable amount of time watching TVcompared to the past. Consequently, they have lowered level of physical activity. This essay will examine benefits and drawbacks of this issue and present logical conclusion, beginning with the positive aspects, it must be noted that children can transform television into a new resource of useful information. For example, they can gain knowledge about nature, animals and plans by watching documentary films or educational cartoons such as "Dora the explorer" and "Go, Diego, go! " Another benefit of a TV broadcasting for children may be presented in its ability to keep concentration. In spite of their young age, kids are more keen to successfully receive information in the form of an auidiovisual content. Turning to the other side of the issue, the first disadvantage is the lock of physical activity in children's lives. Since kids dedicate great amount of time to watching television, they then experience carious health issues related to the lack of activeness. Furthemore, access time range of TV use leads to undevelopedment of fine motor and creative skills. To sum up, the concern of children spending vast amount of time in front of the television set has both advantages and disadvantages. Although it helps children to educate themselves by its auditory format, it causes severe health conditions.
These days
kids
spend considerable amount of
time
watching
TVcompared
to the past.
Consequently
, they have lowered level of physical activity. This essay will examine benefits and drawbacks of this issue and present logical conclusion, beginning with the
positive
aspects, it
must
be noted
that
children
can transform television into a new resource of useful information.
For example
, they can gain knowledge about nature, animals and plans by watching documentary films or educational cartoons such as
"
Dora the explorer
"
and
"
Go, Diego, go!
"
Another benefit of a TV broadcasting for
children
may
be presented
in its ability to
keep
concentration.
In spite of
their young age, kids are more keen to
successfully
receive information in the form of an
auidiovisual
content. Turning to the other side of the issue, the
first
disadvantage is the lock of physical activity in children's
lives
. Since kids dedicate great amount of
time
to watching television, they then experience carious health issues related to the lack of activeness.
Furthemore
, access
time
range of TV
use
leads to
undevelopedment
of fine motor and creative
skills
. To sum up, the concern of
children
spending vast amount of
time
in front of the television set has both advantages and disadvantages. Although it
helps
children
to educate themselves by its auditory format, it causes severe health conditions.
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IELTS essay Children nowadays watch significantly more television than in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. Why is this the case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activity among children? v. 2

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
219 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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