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Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television.However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well‐educated today.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well‐educated today. pGnm
Today children prefer to watch excessive amount of television. There is a fear that these unproductive hours may result in underperformance in education as television usually cannot serve as a learning device. I completely agree with this view that increased tv screen time has created some possible barriers to achieve educational success. Putting the staggering amount of time on watching television is the main culprit behind the loss of quality in basic education among children. Obviously, when children are faced with option of choosing television or books, they are more likely to choose the former at the heartbeat. This is because, unlike books which contain precious source of information, children are often attracted to television programs as they offer more intriguing contents thereby creating addictiviness. As a result, children are being encountered to some learning disabilities, such as concentration disorders, which means that our progress in terms of technological advances has backfired us by making young generation prone to fail the academic studies. However, some supporters of television claim that in this day and age spending time in front of television can beneficial in a way that it offers more practical and visiual content which in case of books might be impossible to experience. They point out that even though books are constrained with pictures, they might fail to convey message entirely, and I think that in a way it makes sense. Nevertheless, I cannot support these people's view since I believe that time-consuming television would only provide children with an opportunity to learn non-verbal communication skills rather than abilities to read or write precisely, which are the precursor of gaining most of high qualifications. Thus, I am also of the opinion that television turned some children to closed-minded people in achieving education goals. In conclusion, television industry cannot compete with books as a learning tool, therefore, I strongly agree that this is the main footprint that left our children in dark to strive to enhance their academic performance.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
excessive amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
. There is a fear that these unproductive hours may result in underperformance in education as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
usually
cannot serve as a learning device. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view that increased
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
screen time has created
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible barriers to achieve educational success.

Putting the staggering amount of time on watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is the main culprit behind the loss of quality in basic education among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Obviously
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are faced
with option of choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, they are more likely to choose the former at the heartbeat. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, unlike
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
which contain precious source of information,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
attracted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
programs as they offer more intriguing contents thereby creating
Possible spelling mistake found.
addictiviness
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
being encountered
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
learning disabilities, such as concentration disorders, which means that our progress in terms of technological advances has backfired us by making young generation prone to fail the academic studies.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
supporters of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
claim that in this day and age spending time in front of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
can beneficial in a way that it offers more practical and
Possible spelling mistake found.
visiual
content which in case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
might be impossible to experience. They point out that
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are constrained
with pictures, they might fail to convey message
entirely
, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that in a way it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
sense.
Nevertheless
, I cannot support these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's view since I believe that time-consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with an opportunity to learn non-verbal communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
rather
than abilities to read or write
precisely
, which are the precursor of gaining most of high qualifications.
Thus
, I am
also
of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
turned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to closed-minded
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in achieving education goals.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
industry cannot compete with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
as a learning tool,
therefore
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that this is the main footprint that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in dark to strive to enhance their academic performance.
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IELTS essay Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well‐educated today.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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