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Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well-educated today. v.36

Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well-educated today. v. 36
Television is an inseparable thing for the new generation today. The advancement in the television industry has changed the way man lives today by bringing him every event that is happening around the world and providing all kinds of entertainment to watch from home. For better or worse people are addicted to television programs and spend a great deal of time watching it. The impact of television on children is a matter of worry for many, especially for parents, as children are the most passionate about televisions today. Unlike a generation ago, where children were spending their time reading books or doing outdoor activities that help them in their personal, intellectual and physical development, today's children are more preferred to sit at home and relax watching their favourite television channel will definitely have an advert impact on their development. Television can bring in educational programs for children but it cannot replace the tradition way of studying from books! Books are subject specific and have a great amount of well-focused information for children to study. Apart from teaching specific subjects, it also helps children to learn to read, write and make decisions. On the other hand, television programmes to teach the same subject will not bring in these benefits and make the children a lazy learner. Moreover, children are not keen to watch such educational programs. They are more interested in watching sports, movies and cartoons which may not have educational concepts but more of an entertainment factors. Obviously, the more time children spend on television is the less time they get for studying from books and thus impact the quality of their education. This would remain as a challenge for today's parents, teachers and society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
is an inseparable thing for the new generation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. The advancement in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
industry has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
by bringing him every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
that is
happening around the world and providing all kinds of entertainment to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
from home. For better or worse
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are addicted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
programs and spend a great deal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
watching it.

The impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is a matter of
The verb 'worry' does not normally take the preposition 'for'. Did you mean "worry about"?
worry for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
,
especially
for parents, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are the most passionate about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
televisions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. Unlike a generation ago, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
were spending their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
reading books or doing outdoor activities that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in their personal, intellectual and physical development,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are more preferred to sit at home and relax watching their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
channel will definitely have an advert impact on their development.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
can bring in educational programs for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it cannot replace the tradition way of studying from books!

Books are subject specific and have a great amount of well-focused information for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to study. Apart from teaching specific subjects, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn to read, write and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decisions.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
to teach the same subject will not bring in these benefits and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
a lazy learner.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not keen to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
such educational programs. They are more interested in watching sports, movies and cartoons which may not have educational concepts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
more of an entertainment factors.

Obviously
, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is the less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
for studying from books and
thus
impact the quality of their education. This would remain as a challenge for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's parents, teachers and society.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well-educated today. v. 36

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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