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Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well‐educated today. To what extent do you agree with this statement? v.19

Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well‐educated today. v. 19
At the starting point, We know that children watching more television in these days. But it is not possible to replace a book as a learning tool to television. Because of they are not well- educated. But there are many benefits and drawbacks to watching the TV set for children. But I partially concur with the statement. Now, I will be discuss in following paragraphs. The most important consideration is children spend most of the daytime either in school or at tuitions. So, they are hardly left with any time to watch the TV box Watching it for a limited time, in fact, adds to their knowledge. There are a variety of shows that can provide us amazing knowledge, in a fun way like as Cosmos, Art Attack, planet earth and etc. Television can never take the place of books as a teaching tool. At the initial point, It can have adverse effects on their eyesight. Another point, children might want to watch the same set of cartoons or programs repeatedly that they enjoy rather than watching educational programs. It is the duty of parents to keep an eye on the channels that they are subscribing to. They should activate only educational channels for their offspring's. Children in the present generation are far more educated than the previous generations. So TV-box are not to be blamed, . It all depends on the parents to help pupils understand the role of education and TV-box in their life. To conclude, children are already busy with their daily routine. Excess of everything is bad, so is watching television-set and children are well educated as compared to the previous generations. Essay Categories:
At the starting point, We know that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
watching more television in these days.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it is not possible to replace a book as a learning tool to television.
Probable usage error. Use "Because they" instead.
Because of they
are not well- educated.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits and drawbacks to watching the TV set for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
partially
concur with the statement.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, I will be
Consider using the past participle "discussed"?
discuss
in following paragraphs.

The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
consideration is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend most of the daytime either in school or at
Possible spelling mistake found.
tuitions
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they are hardly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
with any time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the TV box Watching it for a limited time, in fact,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
to their knowledge. There are a variety of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that can provide us amazing knowledge,
Consider replacing "in a fun way" with the adverb for "fun"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a fun way
like as Cosmos, Art Attack, planet earth
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
.

Television can never take the place of books as a teaching tool. At the initial point, It can have adverse effects on their eyesight. Another point,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the same set of cartoons or programs
repeatedly
that they enjoy
rather
than watching educational programs. It is the duty of parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
an eye on the channels that they are subscribing to. They should activate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
educational channels for their offspring's.

Children in the present generation are far more educated than the previous generations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
TV-box are not to
be blamed
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
It all depends on the parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
pupils understand the role of education and TV-box in their life.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are already busy with their daily routine. Excess of everything is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
is watching television-set and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
as compared to the previous generations.

Essay Categories:
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well‐educated today. v. 19

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
278 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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