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Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well‐educated today. To what extent do you agree with this statement? v.17

Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well‐educated today. v. 17
In present time, technology is getting more and more advance. The Education system is too updated with gizmos, same the other side book reading is a boring activity for children. In present time television is a way of learning; still, other people think that TV cannot take a place of books for learning for that reason why children have less - educated nowadays. I believe that the books are a more essential way of learning rather than a TV set, so I partially agree statement; and reasons of my inclination are elaborated in trailed paragraphs. To embark with, by reading a manual children can develop their reading skill, with the same reading can enhance their knowledge which help them to make good communication and appearing good thought in mind. The handbook helps children to sharpen their memory power and concentration. The copy reading can not only increase fluency in language, but it increases their vocabulary which help them throughout their life. By reading a good study material as they can motivate themselves but they can be a good motivator for others, and develop the ability of a leader. In the other positive view, by reading a history handbook, children can get knowledge about the history and know the value of the culture and tradition. By reading a comic textbook children can get good creative ideas and the lexicon may be freshened up their wisdom. By reading devotional booklet children get good peace of mind, and they know about the religion. I think that Video box is a medium which can be a useful for learning, but it should have certain limitation. There are many educational shows are broadcasting on tv station. Many channels make children about the ongoing scenario of the world and give information about different countries and their details and wildlife overview. But it cannot be negative that after watching of telly is still harmful to the eyes of children. Sometime crime show and action scenes distract their intellect and create negative effects. To cite and example, before a year a local physiology collage makes a general debate on some practical analysis, the difference between a child who watching videos and the children who reading the brochure. The result shows that the children who read more books than watching audio and videos, they have good score in general knowledge and the have good communication skill, they mention that they have good concentration and calm nature. To conclude, television and book both help children to learn, but by reading a book children can many benefits: good memory, sharp mind, good communication skill, good concentration; beside that video has some adverse effect on our body.
In present time, technology is getting more and more advance. The Education system is too updated with gizmos, same the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
is a boring activity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. In present time television is a way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
;
still
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that TV cannot take a place of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
for that reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have less
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
educated nowadays. I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are a more essential way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
rather
than a TV set,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
statement; and reasons of my inclination
are elaborated
in trailed paragraphs.

To embark with, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
a manual
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "child"?
children
can develop their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, with the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
can enhance their knowledge which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
communication and appearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
in mind. The handbook
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to sharpen their memory power and concentration. The copy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
increase fluency in language,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it increases their vocabulary which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them throughout their life. By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
study material as they can motivate themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they can be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
motivator for others, and develop the ability of a leader. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
view, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
a history handbook,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
knowledge about the history and know the value of the culture and tradition. By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
a comic textbook
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "child"?
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and the lexicon may
be freshened
up their wisdom. By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
devotional booklet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
peace of mind, and they know about the religion.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Video
box is a medium which can be a useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it should have certain limitation. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
educational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
are broadcasting on
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
station.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
channels
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about the ongoing scenario of the world and give information about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries and their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
and wildlife overview.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it cannot be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
that after watching of
telly
is
still
harmful to the eyes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Sometime crime
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
and action scenes distract their intellect and create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects. To cite and example,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
a year a local physiology collage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a general debate on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
practical analysis, the difference between a child who watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
the brochure. The result
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who read more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
than watching audio and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
, they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
score
in general
knowledge and the have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, they mention that they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
concentration and calm nature.

To conclude
, television and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
memory, sharp mind,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
concentration; beside that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
adverse effect on our body.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
57Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well‐educated today. v. 17

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
445 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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