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Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well‐educated today. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well‐educated today. v. 11
With the development of technology, televisions’ place in our lives has exponentially been increasing. Everybody can reach the opportunity of watching television and television resources, such as educational programs from infancy to puberty. Many people wonder whether TV can compensate for the book as a learning tool. I believe that books are an indispensable part of the learning process, and TV cannot replace it in many ways. Based on children’s developmental skills and focusing ability, this essay sides with the books as an overwhelmingly beneficial learning tool for young adults. First, television brings about damages to children’s developing skills. Nowadays, adolescents waste their valuable time watching TV programs, yet this monumental time sometimes turns into becoming addicted to TV. Children can enhance their vocabulary, understanding ability and broaden their perspective by improving their intellectual level by reading various books in their developmental stage. Moreover, doing outdoor activities have a significant impact on young people. Books are convenient in terms of mobility, and children can carry the book that they read with them and read outdoors. Watching TV necessitate to be the same place, and when children watch TV and have a sedentary lifestyle, it may cause detrimental health issues. Furthermore, focusing on a book about a specific subject accelerates children learning process and improves their ability to comprehend what is discussed in the book. For instance, when children tap into the remote control button, the first thing they see and attract their attention would be amusing programs rather than educational ones. Therefore, they would have a hard time keeping their concentration on educational programs. Even if they can keep their focus on them, advertisements would disrupt their learning process, and they would lose their attention again because of interruption. All in all, I strongly think that books educate children more properly regarding their developing skills, and ability to focus and comprehend the subject. Thanks to books, children can avoid cognitive, physical, and intellectual damages and lose their attention caused by the TV when they want to learn.
With the development of technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
televisions’
place in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
has
exponentially
been increasing. Everybody can reach the opportunity of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
resources, such as educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
from infancy to puberty.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
wonder whether TV can compensate for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
tool. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are an indispensable part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
process, and TV cannot replace it in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. Based on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
developmental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and focusing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
, this essay sides with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
as an
overwhelmingly
beneficial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
tool for young adults.

First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
brings about damages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
developing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Nowadays, adolescents waste their valuable time watching TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
,
yet
this monumental time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
turns into becoming addicted to TV.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
can enhance their vocabulary, understanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
and broaden their perspective by improving their intellectual level by reading various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
in their developmental stage.
Moreover
, doing outdoor activities have a significant impact on young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Books
are convenient in terms of mobility, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can carry the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
that they read with them and read outdoors. Watching TV necessitate to be the same place, and when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV and have a sedentary lifestyle, it may cause detrimental health issues.

Furthermore
, focusing on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
about a specific subject accelerates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
process and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
to comprehend what
is discussed
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
.
For instance
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
tap into the remote control button, the
first
thing they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
and attract their attention would be amusing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
rather
than educational ones.
Therefore
, they would have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
time keeping their concentration on educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
. Even if they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their focus on them, advertisements would disrupt their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
process, and they would lose their attention again
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of interruption.

All in all, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
more
properly
regarding their developing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
to focus and comprehend the subject. Thanks to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can avoid cognitive, physical, and intellectual damages and lose their attention caused by the TV when they want to learn.
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Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well‐educated today.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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